woken up to a nightmare, in which I felt that my whole life was a farce, that I was a dreadful person, that I had no reason to go on living. I remember distinctly knowing that I was no less happy or blessed than I had been the day before —I was sure the Valium was the culprit— but I also remember the terror that maybe I would never be happy again, that I would eventually need to end my life to make the agony stop.
