The Inmate

by Freida McFadden

I’ve never been here before. My job interview was over the phone, and the warden was so desperate to hire me, he didn’t even feel compelled to meet me first—my resume and letters of recommendation were enough. I signed a one-year contract and faxed it over last week. And now I’m here. For the next year of my life. This is a mistake. I never should have come here.

Girl, now why would we do that? 😭

Benton’s expression doesn’t shift as his dark eyes rake over me.

Benton runs my purse through a metal detector, and then I walk through a much larger one myself. I make a nervous joke about how it feels like I’m at the airport, but I’m getting the sense that this guy doesn’t like jokes too much. Next time, no high heels, no jokes.

This girl is so me. I would be doing the same thing honestly.

“Nurse practitioner,” I correct him. “I’m going to be working at the clinic here.”

Twins girl

Employees may be terminated for smiling.

“Medical records are all on paper.”

RUN GIRL RUN

“I know you’re anxious working in a maximum-security prison, but you have to know that a lot of these men will be grateful for your care. As long as you’re professional, you won’t have any problems.”

Keep this in mind while going to the forensic hospital during Yale.

“Do not share any personal information.” Her lips set into a straight line. “Do not tell them where you live. Don’t tell them anything about your life. Don’t put up any photos. Do you have children?”

I look like I’m in college, and I feel like I’m fifty. Story of my life.

Do not let these men trick you into prescribing narcotics for them to abuse or sell.”

It’s sobering to think that the last person who had this job before me is now incarcerated. I’ve heard that once you’re in the prison system, it’s hard to get out of it. Maybe the same is true for people who work here.

It’s because of one of the inmates in this prison. Someone I knew a long time ago, who I am not eager to see ever again. But I can’t tell that to Dorothy. I can’t reveal to her that the man who was my very first boyfriend is an inmate at Raker Maximum Security Penitentiary, currently serving life without the possibility of parole. And I’m the one who put him here.

After all, they’re both dead now.

I wonder if the guy in prison murdered them?

I close my eyes and for a moment, I let myself fantasize about some alternate universe in which I’m coming home to my family and my partner is in the kitchen, cooking dinner. But of course, it’s nothing but a fantasy.

“Did you do anything besides sit on the couch?” He grins at me. “Why would I?”

Mood. I hope my kid is like that too honestly

You can’t just eat chicken.” Hmm, you can’t? Because I am pretty sure that over the last ten years, there have been plenty of nights when Josh and I have eaten nothing but chicken. From a bucket with a smiling colonel on the side of it.

I don’t quite understand how you can love somebody so much, yet so frequently want to throttle them.

And I can think of a few other reasons why he would be scared about starting school after what happened back in Queens.

What happened in Queens….?

So after a car wreck killed both my parents at the end of the school year,

Oh nevermind

The problem with your kid getting older is they know there are some things you can’t promise.

The other problem with your kid getting older is that they can tell when you’re lying.

I close my eyes and I can still see his ruggedly handsome face. His eyes looking into mine. I love you, Brooke. That was what he said to me just a few hours before he tried to kill me. And that’s not even the worst thing he did.