Elusive Relations (Valor and Doyle Mysteries, #2)

by Nicky James

“I don’t know how else to describe it. I do the deed and come out the other side feeling no better than when I started. The thrill is… weak.” “Huh. It sounds an awful lot like the heroin addict chasing that first amazing buzz and falling down the rabbit hole trying to get it back. Who’s your heroin, Aslan? You must have gotten a taste of something damn good recently and now nothing measures up.”

No, hookups weren’t my thing, but I’d stepped across that line six weeks ago with the last person on earth I should have. The memories of playboy Aslan in my bed were still too ripe and raw in my brain. The constant reminder he’d left behind—the literal notch in my bedpost—had been both good and bad. It had helped me stay firm when it came to Jack, but it had also made Aslan and our activities hard to forget. This was why I didn’t do hookups. I made everything personal when in reality, I was no more special to Aslan than all the people who’d gone before me.

I’d learned there were layers to Quaid he didn’t let most people see. Underneath the trademark sneer and stiff spine, he was a decent guy. I’d seen him smile. I’d heard him laugh. And I’d watched him let go while in the throes of passion. I’d dug underneath those layers of armor, and the man he hid from the world wasn’t a bad guy at all. In fact, deep down, Quaid Valor was vulnerable and sensitive. Dare I say likable?

“Are you going to sleep with him again? Is that what this is about? You’re hoping for another chance to tap the cranky MPU detective’s ass, aren’t you?” “No. I don’t do repeats. You know that. Too messy.” Torin shook his head with a humorless laugh. He didn’t roll his eyes, but he didn’t have to. Even I heard the lie in my tone.

I hated when Aslan flirted and teased and dug his way under my skin. He knew it exasperated me, but he did it anyhow. What raised my blood pressure more was the way I secretly enjoyed it. Because I was desperately pathetic like that. I couldn’t seem to acknowledge Aslan for who he was. A player. One night of hot sex meant nothing to him. Hell, it meant nothing to me. Why did I let him get to me like this?

Once again, we were working on a case together. Only this time, I’d put myself there voluntarily. A tiny, irritating spark lit up in the back of my brain, and I was loath to admit I wasn’t upset about the arrangement. I chuckled humorlessly and shook my head. Jack had seriously damaged my ego if I was looking forward to Aslan’s flirty banter. I guess I wasn’t done with my self-destructive ways. So long as I could keep my head screwed on straight and remember how Aslan operated, I’d be okay. I wouldn’t let him pull me under his spell a second time.

“And nothing. Last I checked, we weren’t dating, and you can’t tell me what to do.” I squeaked and jolted forward when Aslan slapped my ass, grabbing a handful of the left cheek and squeezing as he leaned in and whispered, “Get your smug, sexy little ass over to the bar right now. We have work to do, and I don’t like your attitude.” “Um… inappropriate touching.” “Uh-huh. I’ll give you inappropriate touching, Quaid Valor. Don’t tempt me.”

“They’re excuses. Why can’t you just say, ‘Aslan, I want you to throw me on the bed and wreck me like you did last time. Fuck me until I can’t remember my own name.’” “I can’t do that.” “Why not?” “I reiterate. Your ego needs no stroking.”

Quaid was a quandary. What made him so special? Why was it so important for me to chip away at his hard exterior and discover who he was underneath? Now we were trapped in this lull. The sexual tension vibrated in the air, but we’d left it untouched for so long I wasn’t sure how to move us forward. This was my area of expertise, and I was failing. For once, I didn’t want to come across as the narrow-minded pig who just wanted to get off. For once, I didn’t want to be judged. That in itself was a problem. I shouldn’t have cared.

The previous night was nothing more than a dream. It didn’t feel real anymore. Whatever connection I’d felt with Quaid was easily passed off as a figment of my imagination. Note to self: Keep the boundaries of hookups less personal from now on.

I hooked a finger under Quaid’s jaw and turned his head so his frown was aimed in my direction, then I reached up and smoothed the wrinkle between his brows. He flinched and batted my hand away. “What are you doing?” “You’re frowning,” I said. “Severely. I was fixing it.”

He was openly looking at me now, amusement and contentment radiating from his baby blues, and I had the sudden urge to lean in and kiss him. I didn’t. Janessa decided that was the perfect time to come with the coffee pot to see if we needed refills. I barely spared her a glance, unable to take my eyes off Quaid as I shooed her away. How dare she interrupt us when I’d finally cracked the scowling man’s façade and made him smile? Couldn’t she see how important that was?

I couldn’t explain or describe the thing that passed between us, but it was intense. It had substance. It was an undercurrent, and I got the sinking feeling that no amount of hooking up with this man would get rid of it. Aslan winked with that cocksure smile that fluttered in my belly. “See you soon, Valor.” Then he left. I was in so much trouble.

“Relax. It’s not what you think. Quaid, this is my sister, Amelia. Amelia, this is Quaid. He’s working a case with me. We have stuff to do tonight, so I asked him to pick me up.” “Oh, okay. Sure. Nice to meet you, Quaid.” I was just a guy working a case with him. Not what you think. What did that mean? I hadn’t even warranted the title of friend. Yeah, I was definitely attributing far too much to Aslan’s random touches and flirty behavior. The comment was more proof that I needed to be careful before I ended up in over my head and got hurt.

Selfishly, I was hoping to have more time afterward with Quaid. I didn’t want to focus on the whys or what it meant that I couldn’t seem to let this connection go, but Torin’s presence would kill any chance of privacy. My brain seemed to be adamantly rejecting the idea or putting a halt to this fling we were having—or whatever it was. Hadn’t I told Torin that morning that two times was a rodeo and three was a commitment? I was walking a thin line between hookup and… something else.

“I’m going to get hurt because, as shocking as this may sound, I don’t entirely hate you like I used to. In fact… I like you more and more, and… I know that’s not what this is. I know us hooking up is just a fun time in your world. It’s what you do, and that’s great. I’m not judging, but I need to be more careful because I risk—” Aslan leaned over the console. In one fluid movement, his hand found its way to my nape and drew me in for a kiss, stopping the string of excuses. It was tender and painfully sweet. It didn’t scream I want to lay you out and fuck you senseless. Instead, it whispered I want to savor you, memorize you, and imprint your lips and taste onto my soul.

I’d bared my heart the previous night to a man who was nothing more than a passing ship in the night. I scrubbed a hand over my jaw and, for the hundredth time since waking up, tried to shed the memories of having Aslan in my bed again. Every moment played on repeat, and I couldn’t shake it off. I would never tell him, but I was kind of sad he hadn’t added a second notch to my bedpost.

I thought about bringing it up with Quaid. It was ridiculous. He’d laugh in my face. Then I thought about solving this case and everything going back to how it was before. Quaid on one side of the building. Me on the other. Us never talking. I didn’t like that either. Great, now it was me contemplating appropriate restaurants and dinner invitations.

“I’m health conscious.” “We’ll have to agree to disagree on that one. Besides, if I cooked, I’d make something that offended you, then you wouldn’t eat it. Then I’d be offended, and we might end up in an awkward situation, and you’d never agree to go out with me again. A restaurant sounded safer.” “A date.” “We’re going in circles now, Quaid. Yes, I’m asking you out on a date.”

We landed back at my place, in my bed. It was inevitable. The walls were down between us, and I no longer had to worry I was getting too close to Aslan. Was I risking my heart? Maybe. But it was a risk I was willing to take. Would it last? Time would tell. We’d take it day by day and see what happened.