O Caledonia

by Elspeth Barker

At last, in desolation, like a tiny kamikaze pilot, he flew straight into the massive walls of Auchnasaugh and killed himself.

“In the manufacture of human pride, there is no ingredient so potent as the production of a son.”

It seemed she was punished for something which happened without her choice or knowledge.

Almost as much as its image she loved the word, with its tight beginning and its rustling, cascading end, like the gown a princess would wear,

If they sang “Away in a Manger” to him he would dance, swaying from side to side, lifting his feet high and raising his wings. Janet tried chanting “Hink, minx” but it was too fast and drove Polly into such a frenzy of action that he collapsed palpitating on the floor.

Lol

All the children assumed that Germs was short for Germans and performed with patriotic fervour.

“You were like that once, a beautiful wee thing. But now you’re plain, my dear, very plain.”

by animals whom she found it possible to love without qualification. People seemed to her flawed and cruel.

I feel this!

She recognised in herself a distaste for people, which was both physical and intellectual; and yet she nurtured a shameful, secret desire for popularity, or at least for acceptance, neither of which came her way.

I also feel this!

She felt that she was being borne away from the lands of high romance and magic towards a bleak world of making do and commerce and department stores and petrol fumes; headscarves and gabardines.

Later he had removed the largest chip from Rhona’s plate and placed it on his shoulder; then he waited through the rest of the sacred hour for someone to ask him why he had a chip on his shoulder.

Lol

She never sat down to eat. She said that she found it boring, a waste of time. Vera had remarked, not only once, that Lila dwelt in a waste of time.

Janet began to hate the sea. There was so much of it, flowing, counter-flowing, entering other seas, slyly furthering its interests beyond the mind’s reckoning; no wonder it could pass itself off as sky; it was infinite, a voracious marine confederacy. She saw how it diminished people as they walked along the shore; they lost their identity, were no more than pebbles, part of the sea’s scheme.

Besides, men went into shops, and they must never, ever speak to men. The girls were given to understand that all men seethed with uncontrollable desire for them and the smallest encouragement would lead to murder. Or worse.

Janet considered the matter of spring with a pang of longing.

Janet felt that ponies belonged to her personal area of expertise which she did not want to share with anyone.

They passed the wolves, scrimmaging together in the dusk, fending and ripping at a small blue anorak. “Well now,” said Francis, “I wonder what they’ve done with the owner.” Lulu gasped; fearfully she clutched Rhona’s arm. “Don’t be silly, Francis,” said Rhona, “I saw you chucking that in to them.”

Lol

The lonely call of an owl, which once had thrilled her, now pierced her with apprehension. Man’s inhumanity to man and beast dominated a world of vicious anarchy and disgrace.

as a lighted window glimpsed in a house unknown can rouse in the passer-by a sense not only of obscure longing for other warmer lives but also of sharp exclusion, harsh as a door slammed in the face.

Vera was speechless, doubly mortified by the thumb and the blatant lie. The thumb was about to be reinserted. Hastily she said, “Well, have you seen anything you really like?” Janet brightened. “Yes,” she said, “the purple one.” Vera had also noticed the purple dress; it was uniquely hideous,

Lol

People kept stepping on the train; sometimes it flew up behind her and caught on a sporran. Once it knocked a glass out of a woman’s hand.

Lol

Off came the dragon tail, ripping away part of the skirt as well. Janet hurled the glinting bundle onto the lawn. There it was found the next day, giving rise to wanton speculation and establishing Janet as a woman of easy virtue. For her dress had been, as she had hoped, distinctive.

Lol

I also think that Poe’s poem would have been a lot more fun if the Raven said ‘Never mind’ and I shall be emending any copies which come my way.”

It is said that those who are visited by a vision are not to be envied, for they are thereafter haunted.