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That’s always how it is, though, isn’t it? You never realize the true significance of a moment until later.
“Are we swearing off men again?” I shake my head. “No. That way lies madness. But I’m swearing off him.”
The lure of dating apps and the ease with which we can swipe someone into our lives, then swipe someone out of our lives, means that now we’re forever chasing something else, someone else.
“Is he wearing a leather jacket?” I ask admiringly. This seventy-something man is trendier than I am.
I’m not lonely. But there are some couples who make you realize you’ve been alone for quite some time.
“I kind of live off the conversations for a little while—does that make sense? And when that well empties out a bit, he calls again or he messages me and it kind of…” “Lifts you up?” Joan volunteers.
“It’s how all romances start: with something nice, something easy that brings two people together.”
“Did you have adult sleepovers with that young man?” “Eleven,” I boast with a smile. “Well, I say!” Joan chuckles. “I think that deserves a biscuit.”
Don’t put everything on hold. Be there for him. But the world keeps spinning. Don’t give up on everything that makes you you.”
“Bloody hell,” I say. “What’s the rush? Are you pregnant?” She glugs a giant mouthful of wine. “Christ, no.
The train starts moving and the man stops looking through me, looks at me, smiles and then the lightning bolt of recognition hits him, he visibly inhales, the train moves, and then I watch him mouth, “Hannah,” as his eyes widen in shock. And then he’s gone, carried away into the tunnel.
“I know you’ve had a rough time of it,” she says. “And I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. But if you find her, and if you break her heart a second time, I will track you down and I will gut you like a fish.”

