That Summer Feeling

by Bridget Morrissey

There it was again. The feeling of falling. Standing on the ceiling of the world and tipping over. And I wanted to fall. Because I wanted her to catch me.

They’d know her laugh as the purest concentration of joy that existed.

All the pieces of myself I’d never acknowledged before this week now fit me so well they seemed like the entirety of my personhood.

In a way, my old habit of romanticizing life was one of the only kindnesses I’d granted myself, because it was the only time I allowed myself to believe I deserved a love full of care.

I needed to lean in harder, because it was a gift to be able to not just see the good in the world but embrace it.

She was sparkle. She radiated the exact kind of compassion I’d only recently learned to have for myself.

know now that I’ve always felt like too much around you. And I don’t want to feel that way anymore. I want to feel like I’m just enough.”

I cared through my words. My generosity. I cared through the way I supported people’s plans and dreams. I cared through the challenges I pushed through.