Binding 13 (Boys of Tommen #1)

by Chloe Walsh

I once read somewhere that we mature with damage, not with age. If that's the case, I was an old age pensioner in the emotional stakes.

Life, for me, was a bitter disappointment, and at the time, I had wanted no further part in it.

I didn't do it because I was too much of a coward. I was too afraid of it not working and waking up and having to face the consequences. I was a fucking mess.

I didn’t feel better. I never felt better. I just couldn’t bear to watch my mother struggle.

"I'm so fucking proud of you, Shan," Joey said in a voice that was thick with emotion. "You don’t even realize how brave you are."

"You promise?" she whispered, a tiny smile pulling at her swollen lips. "Yeah," I replied gruffly, feeling like I would promise all the fucking promises in the world just to make this girl feel better. "I've got your back."

She was just so fucking pretty. I hated that word, pretty was a pussy word used by women and the elderly, but that's what she was. Fuck, I had a feeling that her pretty face would be cemented in the fore point of my mind for a very long time.

Something had happened to Shannon Lynch, something bad enough that resulted in her switching schools. It didn’t sit well with me.

I wasn’t a target. And I had peace.

Their friendship meant more to me than they would ever know, giving me a support system that I desperately needed, and a buffer in times of panicked uncertainty.

I simply enjoyed admiring him. From a safe distance. When he wasn’t looking.

Shannon Lynch had eyes the color of midnight blue that wouldn’t stay the fuck out of my head.

My brain's track of choice: Shannon like the river, with the gorgeous blue eyes, face of an angel, and the troubled past.

I was a dog lover. I trusted them. There was something about the way a dog looked at you; they didn’t care if you were a famous rugby player or a homeless person on the streets.

They only cared about how you treated them, and once they chose you as their human, you had a faithful friend for the rest of their lives.

"I have allergies." "Me, too. I’m allergic to assholes and bullshit," Johnny snarled. "Now, tell me who made you cry and I'll fix it."

I kept telling her it was okay, but she wasn’t hearing me. It was like she was stuck in her own head, worrying herself to death over something I couldn’t see I felt helpless. I wanted to help her, but it was an impossible thing to do when I couldn’t see who she was up against.

"Now," I sneered, glaring down at their faces. "Who wants to call my girlfriend a whore to my face?"

"I thought you liked me," I strangled out. "Jesus Christ," Johnny groaned, dropping his head in his hands. "Of course, I like you." He tugged on his hair and sighed. "I think it's pretty fucking clear that I'm mad about you."

I wanted to make her better. I wanted to make it right. In whatever way she needed me to do it. I just didn’t know how. Whatever she needed from me, I was more than willing to provide.

"Words, Shannon," he pushed, tone gruff. "I need the words." "What do you want me to say?" I croaked out. "Tell me why you trust me." "Because when I'm with you, I feel..." "You feel?" "Safe, okay?" I strangled out. "When you're around, I feel safe."

"My father." I waited several beats for him to say something. He didn’t. When I opened my eyes and looked at his face, I realized why. Johnny was asleep.