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Locked in Father’s office sits a glass bottle of Whisper’s blood, arranged beside identical bottles for every other Hound in the Kennel.
Touching his bracelet again, Whisper counts the beads. Each is a different metal or gemstone, melted or carved from tokens he took from each of his targets. His bracelet of trophies, Lily calls it, but Whisper isn’t proud of them. They aren’t trophies. Just memories.
Sad
He calls Reo Barnaby father. Most of them do. But there’s only one person Whisper thinks of as a sister. Whisper meets Father’s gaze squarely. “I want you to release Hemlock.”
Julien picked the colors seven years ago, based on what he thought looked cool and dangerous. Nobody should let sixteen-year-old boys pick anything.
“The crown commends your diligence, Lord Minister,” Julien says with a grin. “Go forth and put the fear of bureaucracy into them.”
There’s no overt sign in Will’s expression, no circles under his eyes. But Julien has the distinct impression that Will is exhausted. Like he’s stretched too thin. Like he hasn’t slept in days.
Julien brushes invisible dirt from Whisper’s shoulder. If Julien notices the way Whisper tenses, his smile doesn’t falter. “Coffee?” Shaking his head, Whisper wonders for the first time if Julien’s bright smile is fake.
While he enjoys the challenges of stealth and evasion, he doesn’t enjoy the act of killing itself. Yet there’s a closeness in the act. During those final moments, Whisper becomes the worst and most important person in their lives. It’s only natural they become an indelible part of Whisper too.
Whisper touches his shoulder. There are no bruises, but he wishes there were. He likes reminders.
“Don’t worry. I’m a responsible royal scion. I’ll keep my dick in ungrateful, backstabbing courtiers where it belongs.” “It belongs in a cage,” Nadine mutters. Julien taps his chin thoughtfully. “Is that treason? I think that might be treason.”
“If anyone has an issue with Will’s promotion, they’re welcome to apply to take care of the fellcats themselves,” Julien says. “Strangely, I haven’t had any other volunteers for that.”
Maybe that’s what he finds so interesting about Will. Will isn’t trying to impress him at all.
I’m definitely not going to fuck him, Julien tells himself. At least, not before the background check comes back.
😂😂 Cut to Julian trying to expedite this background check
But there’s a precision to Julien’s actions, a sense of underlying choreography, that reminds Whisper of the way he prepares for jobs.
Each innocuous movement prepares for the final task.
Lucien rubs his face. His answer sounds a little pained. “Because His Highness just reassured me that he isn’t fucking you. Which is a fucking weird thing to randomly bring up if he actually isn’t.”
“What else do you want to say?” Will asks. “Can I buy you a drink?” Julien says immediately. Only when Will’s mouth quirks in a slight, smug smile does Julien realize Will asked the question in High Fellrian—and Julien answered fluently in the same language. Oops.
“He moved too quickly,” Julien says. “I know. Don’t worry. I’m still not fucking him.” “That’s still not as reassuring as you think it is.”
Julien’s question from the garden haunts Whisper for the rest of the day, growing louder as night falls. Whisper can’t remember the last time someone asked if he was all right. He doesn’t know what ‘all right’ means.
“I barely got scratched,” Whisper protests. Julien gently takes Whisper’s arm again. “If you got a papercut, it would be too much for me.”
“I get nightmares,” Whisper says. “I don’t sleep much.” “Ah. That explains it.” Julien reaches out slowly, as if to pet a nervous cat. Warm fingertips kiss the skin under Whisper’s eye. “You always look so tired.” And for a translucent, painful moment, Whisper feels seen.
My heart!!!
Wyrms are smaller, flightless cousins of dragons, with six legs instead of wings. Much more aggressive than their larger cousins,
The space between them is meaningless when Julien’s presence suffuses every particle of air, fogging the glass around Whisper’s heart.
“I mean it, though. Don’t worry about Emile, or anyone else in this nest of snakes. I’ll take care of you.” It’s one of the kindest things anyone has ever said to Whisper—and the most painful.
Julien takes a deep breath. His thoughts are a mess, but he’s clear on one thing. “I want you to stay for a very long time. I want to get to know you better. Slowly. That’s why I want you to know you can leave whenever you want. I want you to stay, but I don’t want you trapped here, if you ever want to leave.”
He’s in love!
Will stands still, allowing Julien to press his lips to the smooth back of his hand. Will’s fingers tighten around his, and Julien’s heart fills with giddy light.
“Then I get to look into your eyes for the next two hours,” Julien says. “Simple, right?” Nothing about this is simple. But maybe for tonight, Whisper can pretend it is. “I’ll try to follow along.”
Julien licks his lips, and Whisper’s struck by the realization that Julien is about to kiss him. Far worse: Whisper yearns to kiss him too.
Ahhhhhhh!
If he falls any further, Whisper doesn’t know how he’ll survive the end of this job. This starlit dance is all he can afford to carve into his bones and hollow heart.
This isn’t Rue magic anymore, or Sandry magic. This magic is his. This forest is his. Will is his.
putting himself in danger for something as stupid as rescuing Whisper. People don’t rescue Whisper. Which means this is a dream again. A shadow-sweet nightmare. Julien’s not really leaning towards him, and Whisper’s not really seizing Julien’s collar in a desperate yearning for comfort. Surrendering himself to Julien’s kiss.
Julien’s kiss unravels him and weaves his heart into something new.
Between Julien’s arms, with Julien’s heart beating between his shoulder blades, Whisper approaches the darkest corners of his mind. He gives voice to the truth, though Julien won’t understand the scale of his transgressions. “I don’t know if it helps, but it’s the least I can do. Everyone deserves to be known at the end.”
“You don’t have to pretend. I said to be selfish.” “Great.” Julien slides their lengths together in his grip. “I don’t want to scare you off, but I’m really into you.”
Voice low and predatory, he asks, “Is it weird that watching you interrogate him was unbearably hot?” Whisper’s hand slides to Julien’s chest. “It’s a little weird, Your Highness.”
Whisper wants to carve out another fragile piece of himself and hand it to Julien in return.
“I took this scar for you,” Whisper says. “That’s not a bad thing. I’ll never regret it.”
Whisper’s thoughts circle around a dangerous idea. Sometimes there’s no right move, he told Julien. But what if there is? What if he can fix this? He doesn’t want to kill Julien. He fears he can’t kill Julien. Maybe he doesn’t have to.
Please tell him!!
“Isn’t it a little late to check his credentials?” Nadine asks. “What changed?” Will’s ashen face. The fear in his dark eyes. The lies. “I met his sister today,” Julien says. “Your contacts said he was an only child.”
He’s done this five times before. Except for his other jobs, it was his skin on the line, not Hemlock’s. And he hadn’t fallen in love with his targets.
Maybe Nadine’s right—he’s insane. Because one thing hasn’t changed. Whoever Whisper is, whatever he’s done, Julien refuses to see him hurt again.
Whisper’s heart seizes. “He agreed.” “And you believed him. You’re amazing, Whisper. You really thought he would trade me away for a wounded heart like you? I’m his best.” Whisper shudders. “I think he says that to all of us.”
How dare you Hemlock. I had a feeling her ass was suspicious
Whisper looks up, questioning. “I think I know why you didn’t. You’re not used to asking for help, are you?” Julien knows he’s right. “But you could have told me what was going on. If I knew you were a Hound, we could have taken your phylactery ourselves, and shattered it.”
I knew you were suspicious, and in fact, just yesterday I asked Nadine to investigate you again. But I also knew you were a good person, so I fell in love with you anyway.” Whisper once again goes numb and hazy. “I’m not a good person. You’re absurd.”
Footsteps approach not long after, and Whisper turns around to find a familiar face. He won’t know until the man speaks, but already certainty settles into his bones. “Can I help you, Lord Rue?” Gaspard wears a long traveling coat over his court clothes. He really does look remarkably like Julien, except for the chill in his gaze. The
Ah Rue. The secret cousin
“I could have died because I fell in love with him. Instead, I’m alive because he fell in love with me.”
But I know what I need to know.” “Which is?” “He has the terrible taste to fall madly in love with you.” Nadine’s stern face softens. “And he’d rather die than hurt you again.”
“What are you saying?” “I need eyes in the darkness,” Julien says, still petting his hair. “Could you be that for me?” Julien’s supposed to punish him. Not give him a reward he never dared hope for.
“I’m serious about needing a spy-master. But I’m also kind of making things up as an excuse to keep you here, so I can court you all over again.” Whisper stills.
Whisper’s treacherous teenage sister escaped Greenhaven about two hours after one of Healer Dury’s new assistants fixed her concussion.
Welp.
