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“Are you telling me my brother never threw parties?” Julien sips from his own glass. “I’m shocked. Completely shocked.” Loras laughs a bit too long at the jest. Julien isn’t that funny.
Whisper touches his shoulder. There are no bruises, but he wishes there were. He likes reminders.
“Don’t worry,” Julien says. “I’m not going to fuck him.” “That’s not what I’m worried about.” Nadine’s eyes narrow when he looks over. “At least, not until you said that. Why would that even occur to you to deny?” “Have you seen him?” Julien waves his hand. “Don’t worry. I’m a responsible royal scion. I’ll keep my dick in ungrateful, backstabbing courtiers where it belongs.” “It belongs in a cage,” Nadine mutters.
Maybe that’s what he finds so interesting about Will. Will isn’t trying to impress him at all. It’s a shame Will works for him. And that he might be a Fellrian spy or something—investigation pending. Julien would really like to spend an afternoon finding out what other breathless sounds he could draw from those pretty pink lips.
Julien’s question from the garden haunts Whisper for the rest of the day, growing louder as night falls. Whisper can’t remember the last time someone asked if he was all right. He doesn’t know what ‘all right’ means.
Julien asked if he’s all right; for once in his life, Whisper wants to say that he isn’t. “I get nightmares,” Whisper says. “I don’t sleep much.” “Ah. That explains it.” Julien reaches out slowly, as if to pet a nervous cat. Warm fingertips kiss the skin under Whisper’s eye. “You always look so tired.” And for a translucent, painful moment, Whisper feels seen.
Footsteps pause on the stairs. “Your Highness, we’ve secured the rest of the hostages,” Nadine calls out. “What do you—oh, for fuck’s sake. I’ll report when you’re done.”
Self-defense. Whisper doesn’t feel bad like a normal person might. These lives won’t hang around his wrist, but he suddenly isn’t sure what the difference is. In a way, he completes his assignments in self-defense as well.
But nobody, fellcat or prince, follows him into the bath. He thinks Julien considers it, but Julien’s still being nervous and careful of him. Because that’s who Julien is. Considerate. Intelligent. Good. Whisper wishes he didn’t know any of that.
Whisper lacks a scale to measure betrayal. He can’t weigh whether he’s been crueler to Julien than he was to Aneko, or anyone else he’s killed. All he knows is that he’ll have far less of himself when he’s done with this job.
Father charges extra for jobs in Draskora, due to the increased risk if they’re caught. Because he cares about them, Whisper used to think, but maybe he just cares about his investment. Assassins aren’t much good after they’re broken.
“Wait, I really had something for you.” “Really?” Julien catches Will’s hand and kisses the palm. “I thought that was just a coy way of offering yourself to me.” Will shivers at his touch. “You can have me too,”
It’s a selfish confession, wanting Julien to know him. Everyone deserves to be known at the end, and surely this is the end of Whisper too. Whatever fractured part of him survives this job, Whisper doesn’t know if it will still be him.
Whisper shudders. “If you apologize for me trying to kill you, I’m going to start crying.” “Really?” Julien reins back his interest as Whisper’s lip trembles. Nadine’s still here, and Julien wants to be the only person to see Whisper cry. He thinks he deserves that, after all this.
“He only agreed if we bought out the Hound’s value, so if it died on the job, he wouldn’t make a loss. The price was outside my assigned budget, so I made up the difference with my personal fortune.” He smirks. “I didn’t buy your services, Hound. I bought you.”
“Wait, why Nadine?” Julien asks. “I know I just refused to use it, but if anyone is going to illegally question you with the magic truth bottle, it should be me.” “You’re biased,” Whisper and Nadine say in unison. Nadine gives a helpless laugh. “Fuck me, I hope you’re telling the truth, because I still like how you think,” she tells Whisper, then holds her hand out to Julien. “I’ll question your little lover, Your Highness, and you can have the first crack at your cousin. Remember to pardon me if I get charged with blood magery.”
“I could have died because I fell in love with him. Instead, I’m alive because he fell in love with me.”
“What are you going to do with me?” “Nothing.” Hope glimmers in Gaspard’s eyes, but Julien’s next words extinguish it: “I’m going to send you to my mothers.”
“Where’s Whisper?” Julien asks. “I’m good, thanks for asking, Your Highness.” Nadine’s eyes crack open.
“You can’t change the past,” Julien says. “But I’d like you to stay with me and make things right.” “I’ll do anything.” “Don’t say that.” A grin blooms into Julien’s voice. “I might believe you.” “I mean it.” “Fuck, kitten.”
“I don’t deserve you,” Whisper says, voice breaking, “but I want you so much.” Julien swears and hooks a hand under his arm. Pulling, he needs only the slightest tug to spill Whisper into his lap. Whisper clings, unable to help himself, and Julien’s palms trap Whisper’s face to keep him from hiding. “You still don’t get it.” Julien stares into his eyes, intense and searching. “You don’t have to deserve me.”
“I received a letter today, too,” Julien says. “Oh?” “From my mother.” Julien tightens his embrace. “She gives us her blessing.” Whisper twists to look up at him, his disbelief clear. Julien presses a kiss to the top of his head. “Well. Her exact words were, ‘I suppose I can’t stop you, and better an assassin than that weaselly Pellerin boy.’”
“It feels good,” he says, inadequately. Julien’s hand slips from his hip. He thumbs the head of Whisper’s cock in a shiver of friction. “You can do better than that. Does it feel different through your trousers than when I usually touch you? Is this enough?” Julien licks his lips. “Could you come just from me looking at your cock and telling you how much I want to taste you?”
“Julien.” Whisper squirms. “It feels too good. I don’t know what to say.” He’s not good at this. Not like Julien. Except Julien gazes up adoringly at him, like he’s the best in the world. “Then just say whatever. Tell me about the weather. Update me on the espionage plans for the ambassador’s visit next week. Doesn’t matter what you say, your voice gets me so hard.” He starts unlacing Whisper’s trousers. “Keep talking, and I’ll keep touching you. Stop, and I’ll stop.”
“Faster. No, slower.” “Which is it?” Julien pulls off to say, laughter dancing in his eyes. “I don’t care,” Whisper says, “But I won’t last much longer, and I want to come on your cock.” Julien’s expression turns hungry. “Change of orders. Cover your mouth, so poor Nadine doesn’t hear you scream.”
Even though Julien’s the one on his knees, he’s still in complete control, and that’s hotter than Whisper ever imagined. Julien only takes what Whisper offers. That’s why Whisper wants to offer him everything.
“I didn’t seduce you,” Julien says, feigning outrage. “I courted you.” “What’s the difference?” “Optics.”
