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I won’t allow another storm to touch Auren. She has been flooded and wrung out, left to take the barrage without shelter. But so long as I’m here, I will be her shelter.
Mountains should know better than to bow to the wind.
“Slade!” Knowing I can’t keep ignoring him, I roll up the sleeves of my shirt and scratch at my arms. “I’ll be back,” I tell the little nestling. It chirps at me.
HE IS SO FUCKING SWEET EVEN AS A CHILD I LOVE HIM SM
“Am I … a Breaker?” I ask, and it makes me cry a little harder, because I don’t want to be anything like my father. But I somehow broke the stable wall, and I broke the ground, and these spikes broke through my skin … and I feel like a monster. She shakes her head, gently tipping my chin up. “No, Slade. Not you. You don’t break things. You protect them.”
“You took my belligerence and tossed a uniform in my face. You met Osrik’s kill drive and decided to give him your sword. You saw every jail cell that couldn’t hold Judd and, instead of tossing him in another one, let him keep the keys. This time, you found your goldfinch and watched her leave her cage. She’ll open her eyes, just like you got the rest of us to do.” “This is a little more literal. I fucking rotted her.” Lu just shrugs. “We’ve all got a little rotten in us, and I wouldn’t change that for anything. It’s how we’ve survived.”
“You don’t have to be cruel to be strong. You don’t have to be mean to seem brave. You don’t have to look down on others in order to stand tall. Having emotions does not mean you’re weak. It means you’re smart enough to let yourself feel.”
My patience has gone paper thin, this banter tearing right through it. “Does anyone want to explain why you’re not all back with the army like I told you to be?” The four of them look at me like I’m a kid throwing a tantrum. They give me this look a lot.
By the time I call for the army to stop, dawn is about to crest and the storm is still jacking off, dumping its endless load on us. Fucking prick.
“You’re gorgeous when you’re unhinged,” I tell her. Then, I slam my lips against hers.
I feel her body clamp down on my cock, and my thrusts stutter. She calls out my name, shaking all over, her pussy surging with wet heat that sends me right over the edge with her. “Good fucking girl.”
“I’m in a house with five damn men, and they’re driving me nuts,” she tells me. “I need someone to commiserate with.” “Gildy should commiserate with me,” I hear Judd cut in from somewhere across the room. “You’ve been mean.”
“My tongue is so confused right now.” Lu smirks. “I’ve heard women give you that very same critique.”
I’ve always been treated like treasure, but with Slade, I’m simply treasured.
That’s the thing with trauma to the body—it shows up instantly. In breaks and bruises, in burns and in blood. But the trauma on the inside, that’s harder to see. It creeps around your mind, poisons you with disquiet. It can hit you out of nowhere, debilitating and ruinous. There are no marks visible for those. None, save the shadows in your eyes.
I sob and I grieve, and it’s not subtle or quiet, but a violent wracking of mourning that digs itself out of me and lands in a messy, hurtful heap. But all the while, Slade squeezes my hand and Digby stands watch. I may be empty, but I am not alone. And that, at least, is something.
we aren’t strong because of our trauma. We were always strong to begin with. We just needed to figure it out for ourselves.
You never notice what’s keeping you balanced until you realize you’re not standing straight anymore.
“I saw your grimace every time you took a step. I want to carry you, but I don’t want to hurt your back. So hop on.” My feet shift in place, but even that sends a shock of pain down my arches. “Are you sure?” He glances at me over his shoulder. “Am I sure that I want your body pressed against mine while I carry you so that you’re not in pain? Yes.”
“Oh, Goldfinch, I’d follow you to the end of the world and tip right off the edge, all because of a crook of your finger.”
“You are not indebted to anyone, Goldfinch, least of all me,” he murmurs as he continues to release the tension and the pain, like the real magic is in his touch. “You are priceless. You are worth more than gold. And the world owes you so much more than what you’ve been given.”
“I failed you so utterly. You should loathe me for it. You should never be expected to forgive me for that. But I’m a selfish piece of shit, because I will try to earn your forgiveness anyway.”
“I want you to understand something, Goldfinch. I am not good. I will rot every person in my way, will bring a blight to every corner of the world if I have to.” I shake my head. “No, you wouldn’t. You’re good. You’re—” “No, Goldfinch,” he interrupts. “I’m good to you. But I am every bit the villain that I warned you I was.”
“Oh, Goldfinch. I would’ve found you in whatever world you were in. In whatever life.”
“And so your brother fills in for you as Rip when you need him to?” “Yes.” “But what does Ryatt want to do?” All three of them look at me blankly. I gape at them. “You’ve never asked him?” They look a bit sheepish now.
“One person’s pain doesn’t negate another’s. Our heartaches are not competition, but the bridge to empathy. So that we can look at one another and know that on some level, we understand. That’s one beautiful thing about grief, I think. That sometimes, we can find someone in the world to look at from the other side of the bridge of our torments and know that we are not alone.”
I stare at him with awe. Not only is this male unparalleled with his rot power and his overall extent of control, but he has to drain himself every two months to sustain a rip between worlds. “Wow. You are … really, really powerful.” This time when he laughs, the sound is genuine, and he turns to look at me, unleashing that charming smile he seems to save just for me. “Have I dazzled you, my lady?” I drag my boot against the floor. “I mean, maybe a little.”
For a moment, all I can do is watch. She looks like a sunlit goddess, gleaming in the light that’s been sheltered from her, soaking up the rays as if the sun is blessed to shine on her.
Slade walks over to the guards waiting around by the carriage, handing them the parcels of food he had Barut make up for them. The men give him nods of thanks, and I’m struck by how different things are here. Midas would have never given his guards food. It wouldn’t have even crossed his mind. It didn’t matter if they’d been stuck outside in the horrible snow or waiting around for hours inside. And yet, he got the reputation of the Golden King, while Slade is nothing but rot and ruin.
“You want to travel the world?” he murmurs against my skin, making it pebble, making it rise up to meet his touch. “Then I’ll be your escort.” His lips press against me, closed at first, just the tiniest feel of pinched breath between the seams. “You want to hide away? I’ll build us whatever cabin in whatever remote wood you want.”
“I’m going to fuck you in this carriage, Goldfinch.”
“I mean you’re mine to please. To pleasure.” The motive in his eyes matches with the drag of his hand, the curl of his palm as he presses against my throbbing clit and makes me see sparks of light behind my eyes. “You’re mine to protect. To adore. To hear. To see. To experience. To love.”
“You’re mine, Auren. As wholly as I am yours. If there’s something you crave, if there’s some freedom you want to try the taste of, then you will do it, and I will be right there with you. Watching you devour your wants. And then I will devour you.”
“Fuck me, Auren. Bounce on my cock.”
All of us go to the table, where Slade pulls out a chair for me right beside him. Warken, Isalee, and Barley all sit across from us, leaving the seat at the head of the table open. “Shouldn’t you be sitting there?” I say to Slade as he takes a seat beside me. “I’d much rather sit next to you,” he says with a wink.
It’s just … that male. He does the smirk and the chuckle and the lines of power with his scruffy jaw and his dirty words, and I just melt. Every time. It’s also his cock. He has a really good one.
God I love Auren so much, I loved her from book 1 chapter 1, she's so fucking funny
