When we act or think in all-or-nothing ways—like never or always being vulnerable—our rigidity hides deeper scars. I hear these scars from friends who say things like, “You can’t trust anyone,” or “Everyone is going to let you down at the end of the day.” If we assume one thing is always true, we aren’t evaluating the situation to determine whether a behavior will or won’t work; we’re projecting. It’s discernment, attention to the present moment and to the openness of the ears in front of us, that will allow us to carve out nourishing spaces for our vulnerability.
