Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends

by Marisa G. Franco

With the rise of industrialization, and of parents leaving home to work in factories, community bonds tapered and the nuclear family became the center of people’s world. People began to move for work, but increased residential mobility means friendship becomes more disposable, according to one study. And as people left their family for work, they lived alone for the first time, which magnified loneliness. John Bowlby, one of the fathers of attachment theory, said, “If people know each other and have long-term relationships, mutual help makes sense, because I can help you today and five years hence you can help me. But if you aren’t going to be here in five years, and the community is constantly changing, it is by definition not mutually helpful.” Increasing work demands, residential mobility, and single-person homes explain why The Economist called loneliness “the leprosy of the 21st century.”