Anger of despair, however, occurs when we have lost hope of healing a relationship. It confuses conflict with combat and sets out to defend, offend, punish, destroy, or incite revenge. Whereas anger of hope drives a pause for reflection on deeper needs and values, anger of despair blindly impinges. It’s impulsive, highlighting, according to researchers, “insufficiently processed emotions.” Anger of despair masquerades as protecting the self but is also about damning the other,
