SpecOps (Expeditionary Force, #2)

by Craig Alanson

"I hate my life. This sucks," he grumbled. "This is so unfair!" "What is unfair?" "Joe, I do not know how this happened. I don't know how this could be possible, given the laws of physics. Somehow, you came up with a good idea. You! A monkey! Oh, I am so humiliated. I hate my life! I crunched billions of variables and came up with nothing, no way to take out all three of those ships. Then a freakin' monkey says, 'duh, how about this idea', off the top of its stupid freakin' monkey head." He sounded truly, completely miserable. "Joe, if I had a nose, I could blow it, and what comes out would be smarter than your entire species combined. Yet, somehow, you, you of all beings, comes up with a good idea. Unbe-LEE-vable!" "Uh, huh," I said slowly. "So, Skippy, uh, is this like when you had the genius idea for us to raid the asteroid, but you forgot the fact that humans need space suits, in space?" "Enjoy the moment, monkeyboy, it won't happen again," he grumbled. "Hmm, are you taking bets on that, Skippy?" "Oh, shut up. I hate you. Stupid monkeys." "I love you too, Skippy.