Surrender: 40 Songs, One Story

by Bono

We find we are talking about Edge, Morleigh’s man, who is also my man. Me: “Does Edge understand the danger we’re in?” Mo: “No, because you’re not in actual danger.” Me: “The danger of being irrelevant?” Mo: “What is relevance? You mean popularity?” Me: “Sort of, but more about being in the moment you’re in, being in the cultural moment.” Mo: “Bono?” Me: “Yeah?” Mo: “You’re not happy.” Me: “No. The band didn’t buy the vision, and even Edge seemed to disappear down a rabbit hole. We mixed ‘Discothèque’ a hundred times. Edge knows the permutations are infinite, and this time it felt like he wanted to see what infinity looked like.” Mo says nothing. Stares ahead. Me: “We haven’t got the big songs. Just interesting ones.” Mo, now looking at me, choosing not to roll her eyes: “ ‘Staring at the Sun’ is a big song with a beautiful melody. Didn’t Edge write that melody? What are your big melodies on this one?” Me: Says nothing. Stares ahead. Mo: “You’re not happy with yourself. Maybe go a little easier on yourself. And on everyone else?” Me saying nothing, feeling as if I should have gone harder. On myself. On everyone else. I’m melancholic and frustrated. Am I right in my analysis? Who cares, I’m definitely wrong in my expression of it. This is my worst side, the side of me that doubles and trebles down in an argument. The side of me that uses cold dispassionate truthfulness as a blunt instrument, a bludgeon. What am I so scared of ? I’m scared of breaking the promise we made to ...