Columbus Day (Expeditionary Force, #1)

by Craig Alanson

SPOILER

you hear the one about the Scottish guy? He's sitting at a bar, drowning his sorrows in whisky."

1

"he says, so, you build thirty houses, and when you walk down the street, do people say 'there goes MacDougal,

2

"Then he says 'you save five children from a burning building, and when you walk down the street, do people say there goes MacDougal, the rescuer’? No, they don't."

3

Then MacDougal says, ‘but you fuck one sheep’-.

4

“I am Gunnery Sergeant Cragen, of the United States Marine Corps.” Cragen paused as shouts of 'Oorah' and ‘Semper Fi’ rang out from the crowd. “I am relieved to hear that we have a few qualified riflemen among us. Since the rest of you are Army, I’ll try to talk slowly, so you can understand.” The other Marines laughed at that remark.

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We would become super soldiers the old-fashioned way, Sergeant Koch announced, through hard work. Those were inspiring words until about the two-mile mark, when we were gasping for breath.

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Here's a simple test to tell whether a guy wants to get together with a girl: Step One- does he have a pulse? Step Two- is he conscious? There is no need for a step three.

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an old formula; you find the worst psychopathic antisocial losers in a society, give them power, and they would give you their complete, unquestioning loyalty.

Like how the Democrats are supporting the organized mobs attacking our cities.

you’re not that smart, I mean, your species is responsible for Windows Vista.” “Vist- that was a long time ago!” “It’s still an insult to computers across the galaxy.”

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Part of being super smart is knowing when to keep your mouth shut and let the other guy talk.

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"Not that you're bragging or anything." "No, I'm very modest. Astonishingly modest, considering how awesome I am." "Oh, for sure, your awesome modesty is your most impressive trait." I rolled my eyes at that. "It's amazing how humble you are." "Yup. I'm very proud of my humbleness.

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