Necropsy Report: A Relationship (cont.) External examination: After the breakup, you moved to Seattle for a job. You did not speak to M for six months yet you still thought about them. They had a new girlfriend, and sometimes you thought about her. You scoured the apps and went on dates with people you hoped would remind you of M, and they never did. All this flaccid yearning felt shamefully maudlin—you knew they were not thinking of you—but you didn’t know how to stop. Conclusion: The proximate cause of death is incompatible desires, and the resultant loss of a sex life. Conclusion: The
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