How to Get a Girlfriend (When You're a Terrifying Monster) (Monster Girlfriend, #1)

by Marie Cardno

This did make it difficult for her to figure out what humans were like, given most of the memories involved screaming.

Because, as her heart was telling her, if anyone was going to make this human’s eyes glimmer with unearthly madness, it was going to be her.

The human had a skeleton underneath, didn’t she? She thought about adjusting her eyes to see through the human’s surrounding flesh to the bones beneath, to see how they worked, but that seemed rude. They hardly knew each other. She didn’t know much about human customs, but skeletons had to be private, or else why would they be so carefully wrapped up?

Anyway, even if she were more powerful, that seemed like more of a – she hunted through the impressions she’d gathered of human customs, outside the screaming – more of a ‘third date’ sort of thing.

The fragment waited for the smile to stretch all the way around the human’s skull, revealing teeth where no teeth should be, and felt a thrill when she realised it wasn’t going to happen. The human was completely, incredibly unchanging. And looking at her.

She wanted the human to stick around. Step one of that was look like something worth sticking around for,

She was pretty sure inhabitants of the Endless Void weren’t meant to be hot.

She sagged further, and more squishily, than Sian would have with her straight bones and knee joints, and she glanced down at herself to see that her legs had turned into tentacles again.

Not that she wanted to enthral Sian. She wanted … something new. Something she couldn’t find memories of any part of the Endless ever being, or having.

And when she did come back, Trillin would say … something. Something really good. Smart. Witty. Maybe even … alluring.

Trillin wasn’t entirely sure what alluring meant, but she suspected it was a big part of being girlfriend material.