How to Get a Girlfriend (When You're a Terrifying Monster) (Monster Girlfriend, #1)

by Marie Cardno

She didn’t know much about human customs, but skeletons had to be private, or else why would they be so carefully wrapped up?

And when she did come back, Trillin would say … something. Something really good. Smart. Witty. Maybe even … alluring. Trillin wasn’t entirely sure what alluring meant, but she suspected it was a big part of being girlfriend material.

And it took a lot to overwhelm one of Sian’s fireballs. There was a reason she had been banned from the departmental library.

Trillin ran through all her borrowed and inherited memories and couldn’t find anything to say that didn’t make her want to curl herself up into a tiny ball and roll away to safety.

Trillin stared. New eyes opened on her forehead, the better to stare with, and she squeezed them shut and away.

Second tentacle to the left and straight on till morning.

Another pulse squeezed Sian’s skull as she followed her new … friend. Maybe more than a friend. Nothing in the ethics approval about that. Not even her supervisor had thought anyone could get on that well with the residents of the Endless Void.

The small part of Sian that still existed behind the fear wondered if she could get a paper out of what the being’s eyes looked like. No, not a paper. A poem.

So much for sinking her body against Trillin’s, tasting her violet lips and finding out what those tentacles were capable of…

People would get a bit weird if they realised she didn’t just want to find a way to prevent the Endless from ever threatening Earth again, she kind of wanted to bang it, too.

Sian had always been good at smashing various combinations of things together and calling it science.

“I won’t eat you.” Trillin’s voice was so sincere, so earnest, that Sian had to bite back a burst of giggles. “I know how to, now, but I won’t. I want you to know that.” “I think that’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever told me.”