Facing Daemon (Satan's Keepers MC #5)

by E.C. Land

“You will not embarrass this family. The mister will not have it.

“You will not embarrass this family. The mister will not have it. Incorrect punctuation, need to insert quotation marks at the end on the dialogue.

I was caught by my mother the one time I did it and ended up in the basement for a week locked away in the dark without food or water.

I was caught by my mother the one time I did it and ended up in the basement for a week locked away in the dark without food or water. Inconsistent data, a person cannot survive a week without water … needs to be edited.

“I would’ve thought the same of Juniper, but she turned out to be a psycho bitch who was pissed she didn’t get her way. I’m too hyped about jumping in on finding Everleigh.

“I would’ve thought the same of Juniper, but she turned out to be a psycho bitch who was pissed she didn’t get her way. I’m too hyped about jumping in on finding Everleigh. Two issues: — Incorrect punctuation, need to insert the quotation marks at the end of the dialogue. — ‘I’m too hyped about …’ doesn’t make sense to me as written. Could be it is missing ‘not’ before ‘too hyped’ depending on E.C. Land’s intent, but regardless it needs clarification.

“You need to go. There’s no point in you being here.

“You need to go. There’s no point in you being here. Incorrect punctuation, need to insert quotation marks at the end of the dialogue.

“You know I’ve always loved the fact you don’t wear panties.”

“You know I’ve always loved the fact you don’t wear panties.” Inconsistent data, in a previous passage it mentioned her wearing cheeky panties. Needs editing for content or clarification. Maybe she only wears them around the house as a substitute for shorts …

But you see, they’d already managed to cause enough damage,” Dusan says and goes on to explain more in detail about these men.

But you see, they’d already managed to cause enough damage,” Dusan says and goes on to explain more in detail about these men. ??? Some of this should be included, at least at a high-level.

This is going to be one hell of a night, and I intend to make sure my woman remembers it for the rest of her life.

This is going to be one hell of a night, and I intend to make sure my woman remembers it for the rest of her life. ??? Where is the details and how he made it so memorable???

Cherish what you to have and never let it go.

Cherish what you to have and never let it go. Extra inserted word, need to delete ‘to’ after ‘what you’.

I swear as she releases a breath tension seems to just seep out of her.

I swear as she releases a breath tension seems to just seep out of her. Incorrect punctuation, need to insert a comma after ‘a breath’.

It was one of shock. joy, and sorrow all in one.

It was one of shock. joy, and sorrow all in one. Incorrect punctuation, need to change the period after ‘shock’ to a comma.

But the thought of what she told me this morning crosses my mind, and I frown at the thought of what she’s had be feeling.

But the thought of what she told me this morning crosses my mind, and I frown at the thought of what she’s had be feeling. Two issues: — Incorrect word choice, need to change ‘she’s’ to ‘she’. — Missing word, need to insert ‘to’ before ‘be feeling’. SB: But the thought of what she told me this morning crosses my mind, and I frown at the thought of what she had to be feeling.

I don’t like the fact she’s hurting, but I get it and understand her thoughts on if Everett is happy than letting him be.

I don’t like the fact she’s hurting, but I get it and understand her thoughts on if Everett is happy than letting him be. Three issues: — Extra inserted word, need to delete ‘on’ after ‘her thoughts’. — Incorrect word choice, need to change ‘than’ to ‘then’. — Incorrect punctuation, need to insert commas before and after ‘and understand her thoughts if Everett is happy’. SB: I don’t like the fact she’s hurting, but I get it, and understand her thoughts if Everett is happy, then letting him be.

I’ve seen the two of them get into, but it always ends with Ivy being kissed.

I’ve seen the two of them get into, but it always ends with Ivy being kissed. Missing word, need to insert ‘it’ after ‘get into’.

“I think I will.,” Case snickers and makes a jump for me.

“I think I will.,” Case snickers and makes a jump for me. Typo, need to delete the extra 8nserted period after ‘think I will’.

Right now, we’re sitting ducks, having to wait for the next hit to strike against us since they’ve all but disappeared on us.

Right now, we’re sitting ducks, having to wait for the next hit to strike against us since they’ve all but disappeared on us. Repetitive phrasing, really should delete ‘on us’ from the end of the sentence.