Whispers of You (Lost & Found, #1)

by Catherine Cowles

“It isn’t words she needs from me.” It was atonement. But I couldn’t give Wren anything that would heal the wounds I’d caused for not being there during the one moment she’d needed me the most.

His eyes sparked with intensity. “I love you, Cricket. With everything I have.” Everything in me soared. “I love you, too. I always have.” He grinned, the devastating kind that always took me out at the knees. “We’re gonna have a beautiful life.” He said it with such certainty that I believed every word.

I started toward my truck, but a voice stopped me dead in my tracks. “Hey, Cricket.”

“I know that,” I growled. I’d already concluded a long time ago that I would never love someone the way I’d loved Wren—the way I still loved her. Because it didn’t matter if it had been ten days or ten years. A love like that ruined you for all others.

“It’ll hurt so much more if you touch me.” Tears streamed down her face as she struggled for breath. “I can’t. I thought I could, but I can’t. I can’t see what we could’ve had. I can’t watch you move back here, fall in love with another woman, and give her all my dreams. I can’t.”

My eyes burned as if someone had poured a bucket of acid over my head. “Cricket.” Her nickname only made Wren cry harder. “Don’t. I know I wasn’t enough, but I can’t be reminded of that every day. I can’t do it.”

“I don’t give a damn about the five minutes you missed that night. I give a damn about the last ten years you threw away.”

Lawson stared at me for a moment. “I’ve never known two people who loved each other more. Not even my parents. The way you two always were around each other… Like you could sense where the other was at all times and if they needed something,”—he took a breath—“you were giving it to the other before anyone else could blink.”

I wondered how many times that room had seen Little Women. I swore I still knew the whole thing by heart, simply from how often Wren and Grae had forced me to watch it. But I would’ve viewed it a million times more—anything to have Wren’s body curled around mine. To hear the soft whispers of her breath and how it hitched in certain parts and whooshed out in others.

Someone swung my chair around. I couldn’t make out the face, only a blurry form. It was the scent that told me everything. Pine with a hint of spice. I didn’t think, I simply threw myself at Holt. His arms wrapped around me. I wasn’t sure if I was crying or simply shaking but Holt was my anchor. The only way I could stay in the here and now. He held me, and he didn’t let go.

“Look at me, Cricket. See me. I’ve thought about you every damn day. Wanted you with every breath. Nothing will change that. Ever.

Because a fear still lived down deep; one that told me the whispers of him would be all I ever had.

And sooner or later, she would believe that forever was just a lifetime of a little whiles.

“Not going to pretend I’m not in love with you, Wren. Missed touching you. Sometimes, I’d be walking and swear I felt your hand in mine.”

“Cricket.” I leaned back against the couch, taking her with me. “We’re okay.” “You dove in front of a bullet.” The words were barely discernable through hiccupped sobs. “I dove for you. I will every time.” Her head shook back and forth frantically. “You can’t. Promise me. You can’t.”