Whispers of You (Lost & Found, #1)

by Catherine Cowles

“I’m scared someone’s going to steal that happy.” Grae nodded. “Someone like Holt?” “Or the shooter. Every time I think about letting myself really want this…” “It terrifies you.”

When I was with Holt, there was this juxtaposition of sensations. He grounded me in a way that made me feel at home yet propelled me into the air for the greatest rush of my life. I’d never met another person who made me feel that way. And I didn’t want to lose that. I also didn’t want to dull it by pulling back.

“Can I be honest with you?” “I’d appreciate it if you would.” “I left a girl behind when I took off.” Bruce arched a brow. “And not just any girl. The one who makes everything settle when you’re around her. The one who gives you peace and a safe place to let everything go.”

“I was a fool. I hurt her. I’m trying to make it right. Want to prove to her that I’m in it for the long haul. And I missed my family. I missed these mountains. It’s time for me to come home for good. And I can’t imagine a better job to have while doing that.” Bruce huffed out a breath, leaning back in his chair. “Hell. The job’s yours if you want it.”

“Romantic at heart, aren’t you?” He laughed. “I’m going to tell my wife you said that. And I’m going to tell her that little story of yours because it’s gonna make her get all nostalgic about our story. Might even convince her to slow dance with me tonight.” “Sounds like you found the right one in the end.” “I did.” Bruce stood, extending a hand.

Me: How’s everything at home? A reply flashed on my screen as I climbed into my SUV. Cricket: Grae and I called for strippers. I wouldn’t come home anytime soon. I barked out a laugh. Apparently, my every thirty-minute check-ins hadn’t gone unnoticed.

Cricket: You don’t have to pick me up. Me: I’m picking you up. Cricket: Bossy. Me: You can boss me around later.

Grae: Would you two stop sexting? Wren and I need to bawl our eyes out for the fifty millionth time as Beth dies, and then she has to go to work. Me: I’d rather come home to strippers than Little Women AGAIN. I shoved my phone into the console and pulled out of the parking lot, a smile still pulling at my mouth. God, I’d missed this: the razzing from Grae, the banter with Wren, feeling like I had my family back.

“They’re snickerdoodle.” Wren’s favorite. “I’ve become pretty partial to snickerdoodle over the years.” Her expression softened. “Because you’re a smart man.”

“I’m not. I swear. But I won’t lie, you’re a part of the decision—you all are. I miss my family, this town, SAR. I missed Wren.” Tears gathered in my mother’s eyes. “How does Wren feel about all this?” “She doesn’t know about the job yet, but she’s coming around to the idea of me.”

“You’re both finally getting what you’ve always wanted. I don’t want anyone taking that from you.” But I heard the words he really meant. Someone wanted to finish what Randy and Paul had started, and Wren could be next.

“You mothering me, Wren?” I crossed my arms. “Somebody needs to.” “Trust me, Kerry Hartley does plenty of that.” “But you’ve gotten too good at hiding how much stress you’re under from her.” Because Lawson didn’t want anyone to worry about him. He was always the one who assumed the role of caretaker.

“Do you need a ride home when you’re off shift?” “No. Holt’s coming to pick me up.” Lawson’s lips twitched. I rolled my eyes as I stood. “Oh, shut up.” “Pretty sure I didn’t say a word, Little Williams.” “Your danged smirk says it all.” Lawson held up both hands. “It makes me happy to see the people I care about happy.”

Because what would I prove to Wren if I left every other week to take on some job? And more than that, I didn’t feel the pull to take off to parts unknown like I had before. Maybe because I wasn’t trying to distract and numb myself any longer. I was facing things for the first time. And as painful as it had been, I couldn’t imagine anything more worth it.

“I wanna meet this girl.” I grinned down at Shadow and gave her head a scratch. “You’re gonna like her.” “I know I will, which just annoys me because she’s stealing my best friend.”

Wren lay on the table, an ice pack pressed to her head. It wasn’t until I saw her chest rise and fall that I took a full breath. But as soon as I did, rage filled my lungs.

In a flash, she stood and moved to me. The ice pack fell to the floor as she grabbed my hands. “I’m fine. A little banged up. That’s all.” I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. All I could do was stare at the blood staining her T-shirt. “Tell him I’m fine, doc.” “Wren will be perfectly all right,” the doctor said.

“Someone. Attacked. Wren. Outside your damned police station. How is that not serious?” I growled. Lawson winced. “Bad choice of words.”

“I’m okay. I took a knock on the head. I’ll look rough for a couple of days. That’s it.” “You promised me.” Her brows furrowed. “You promised me you wouldn’t go anywhere alone.” How could I believe anything she told me? How could I trust her to keep herself safe?

A single tear slid from Wren’s eye, but she wiped it away quickly. “That’s not on me.” I reared back. Of course, it wasn’t on her. I squeezed my eyes closed, struggling to breathe evenly. I was screwing this all up. And I couldn’t. There was too much at stake.

I moved in a flash, wrapping Wren in my arms. I fought the urge to tighten my hold, the instinct was so strong, but I didn’t want to hurt her. “I can’t lose you,” I croaked. “I’m right here,” she whispered. But someone could take her from me at any moment. How could I have forgotten that?

Holt’s hand tightened again, and I traced circles on the back of it, trying to soothe the demons that had clearly taken hold.

He reached out and gave my hand a quick squeeze. There was so much in that simple gesture. Lawson was telling me to hang on. To stick with Holt. But it wasn’t me who had a hard time sticking.

Holt held open the passenger door to his SUV and gently helped me inside. He bent, reaching across to buckle me in. My breath caught. He’d done this before, too. When it still hurt my chest too much to buckle myself.

“Stop it.” He jolted. “Stop what?” “Don’t do this to me.” Holt blanched. “This is exactly how you sounded after I was shot. You said all the right words, but your voice was dead. You were holding my hand but putting a million miles between us. Don’t do this.”

He moved in a flash. He was on the other side of the kitchen and then suddenly, he was right there, wrapping himself around me. “I’m not pulling away. I promise.” His pine-and-spice scent swirled around me. “You are. You’re here but it’s not you.”

“You want to hear that when Law called, my heart stopped? That I want to find this person and end them. Not get them arrested and send them to jail, end them.” “Yes, I want to hear it.” His eyes glittered in the low light of the cabin. “You want to hear that I failed you? Again.” I gave his chest another hard shove. “The only time you fail me is when you disappear! When are you going to get that through your thick skull?”

“How can’t you see what an amazing man you are? It doesn’t matter what I deserve or don’t because I want you. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. So let me make up my own mind. Don’t steal my choice from me.”