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I knew better than most how frustrating it could be to have your body hold you back from what you knew your soul needed.
I’d already concluded a long time ago that I would never love someone the way I’d loved Wren—the way I still loved her. Because it didn’t matter if it had been ten days or ten years. A love like that ruined you for all others.
I would’ve known Wren anywhere—even with fuller cheeks and lighter hair. She could’ve looked completely different, and my soul would’ve somehow managed to pick her out of a crowd.
“I don’t give a damn about the five minutes you missed that night. I give a damn about the last ten years you threw away.”
Lawson stared at me for a moment. “I’ve never known two people who loved each other more. Not even my parents. The way you two always were around each other… Like you could sense where the other was at all times and if they needed something,”—he took a breath—“you were giving it to the other before anyone else could blink.”
Someone swung my chair around. I couldn’t make out the face, only a blurry form. It was the scent that told me everything. Pine with a hint of spice. I didn’t think, I simply threw myself at Holt. His arms wrapped around me. I wasn’t sure if I was crying or simply shaking but Holt was my anchor. The only way I could stay in the here and now. He held me, and he didn’t let go.
“Cricket, there hasn’t been anyone in a long time. I realized it wasn’t fair to go there with a woman when the only one I wanted was you.”
“Sometimes, the world doesn’t have the right to your feelings. It doesn’t mean you’re hiding. Just that some emotions are only for the people you trust most.”
“Not going to pretend I’m not in love with you, Wren. Missed touching you. Sometimes, I’d be walking and swear I felt your hand in mine.”
“I love Wren. Never stopped. It killed me every single day to be away from her. But I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll fight with everything I have for her. And she’s giving me a shot. So, I’m taking it.”
“If you think I didn’t lean on you, then you weren’t paying attention. Every time I needed an escape from the craziness of my family. When life hit hard, you were the only person I wanted, the only place I wanted to be. You, more than anything, were home.”
“You dove in front of a bullet.” The words were barely discernable through hiccupped sobs. “I dove for you. I will every time.”
When you care about someone, you don’t want anything to happen to them. If it does, it feels like it’s your fault—even if that isn’t true.”
I would always know Holt. Sometimes, better than I knew myself. Because I knew his soul. The very core of him. The trappings of that soul might change, but the soul itself never would.
“I love you. I never stopped loving you. Not for a single breath.”
“I’m proud of what I built. But so much of that urge to push for more, to reach for the best, was because I was running. From memories. From demons. I don’t want that anymore. I don’t need it. What I do need is a life here. With you. With my family.”
“I’m never leaving. Not unless she asks me to. And even then, I’d never go far. She has my heart. My soul. Everything that’s good in me. She’s where I feel peace.”
I would’ve given him anything, ripped the still-beating heart from my chest if it meant Wren would be okay.
I knew Lawson and Nash had to be behind me. They would’ve started running the second they had a location. The second they heard Wren’s cries. Because they loved her, too. She was as much of a sister to them as Grae was. And they knew if I lost her, they’d lose me, too.
It was true. Wren had shown me that we had to face things together, no matter what came our way. Because we were our strongest selves when we had the other backing us up. And even in those most difficult moments, life was never sweeter than when she was by my side.
