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“The women that you spend time with just want rich coal. They don’t even know what a diamond is. It’s coal meet coal.”
And then, in bed with my favorite person in Spain, I feel myself finally relax.
“In ten years, on this day, no matter where we are in the world, no matter who we are married to, we will meet on this beach at this time and take a swim together in the dark.”
“Because he won’t have to try to not sleep with anyone else . . . he will love me so much that the thought of sleeping with another would turn his stomach. Because that’s what love is. Putting another person above all else. Giving yourself over to them completely. Trusting your heart with the woman you love.”
I’m done with Hayden Whitmore.
“What are you doing here with me?” I whisper. “You should be out chasing girls.” “You’re my only girl,” he whispers.
I rub my fingers over my stubble as I stare out the window. Go back. Don’t fuck this up. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Go back.
New York has always been the one place I do belong. If this doesn’t feel like home, then where is?
“Some things you cannot choose. They choose you.”
“Why don’t you go and practice your wanking in the shower like a good boy?” “No more wanking.”
I glance down at myself: black pants, red bow tie, and gold glitter oil over my body. Kill me now.
“You’d do all this for a girl?” Masters smirks. “She’s not a girl,” I spit. “She’s the girl.”
He lied to me. For twelve months I have been falling in love with a man who doesn’t even exist. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so betrayed.
“Do you know how much I love you?” he asks. I stare straight ahead as I hold my tongue. Not really.
No matter how hard he tries, no matter how much we love each other, he can’t fix my problem. I miss my home.
I know that there is no way around this. It is what it is. He’s a city boy; I’m a country girl. The reason why we can’t be together still stands. Nothing has changed. My heart is still firmly broken.
