The Coldest Secret Ever: A Psychological Thriller

by N'Dia Rae

Sometimes, something takes over me and I lose all control and go on spending sprees. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it results in purchases like this.

“Boohoo, my life is so perfect and I’m so bored that it makes me miserable,” is what I imagined Logan was in there whining about. What complaints do you have when your husband is rich, your house is huge and you are beautiful? What are you sad for? That cunt irritated my soul.

found in the garbage but my “aunt and uncle” only wanted to take home one. They couldn’t afford to care for both of us. Not only had my crackhead mother rejected me but so did her sister and sister’s husband.

That’s why I had been stalking her and watching her every move. I found out where her cute daughter goes to school. I followed her to work and her therapist’s office. I even followed Xavier around to see what he was up to, and boy if she knew what kind of bad boy he was she would probably leave him.

Finding out the secret life that Xavier was living is what prompted me to send him that disgusting tape. I wanted him to think that Logan was just as dirty as him. Logan should be thanking me for breaking up that sham of a marriage. I’m saving her years of therapy.

And he won’t believe her when she denies and pleads. He’ll think she’s an insane liar. She’ll claim she must have a long-lost twin but he won’t believe her. It’ll sound completely insane.

You know damn well that you didn’t record a sex tape but there you are getting banged by multiple men. If this doesn’t push her over the edge and has her entire life fall apart, I don’t know what will. But that’s what I wanted. I wanted all of her togetherness to be unraveled until there was nothing left but skin, boned and the truth.

“Hey, beautiful. I just heard the news and I wanted to reach out to you to let you know that I’m here if you need anything. This seems way out of character for you and I’m someone you can lean on if you need to talk. I’m truly sorry about this. You don’t deserve for your business to be spread out for the world to see. Hit me when you get a chance if that feels good to you. 301 343-7847.”

“Did you know she was pregnant?” I asked uninterested in hearing what he thought of her. “Not until I was released from prison.” “Did you come for me?” “Veronica and Charles told me you died. When I was released from prison they said that your mother threw you away because you were stillborn. That was that. I thought you were dead this entire time,” he said when he turned away from the house to look for me.

While I waited for her to show up, I listened to the radio. And once again It Seems Like Your Ready played on the radio. As soon as the song came on, my heart began to pound within my chest. Immediately, I turned it off before R. Kelly could get another word out. Tears eased down my face at the thought of that tune. I fucking hated that song with all of my passion.

“Ew. Let me hurry up and get home then. But my question… I’d like to know if I could be there. I want to stand over them as I watch them bleed to death,” I said flatly. “Sure, I can make that happen. It’ll go down next Friday.” “Okay, here’s the deposit,” I said while handing over the cash. “Thanks. Aren’t you that woman from that show?” He asked as he squinted his eyes to see me better underneath the dim light. “Um… yeah. Logan Medford,” I lied. “Cool. Well, Logan Medford, you’re under arrest for solicitation of murder for hire,” Lucky said.

“That’s funny. Bye guys. Keep me in the loop,” I responded as I turned and walked away. But behind me were three other cops with their guns drawn and aimed at me. “Put your hands behind your back,” Lucky commanded. “Are you serious? You set me up! Keavon! You set me up!” I hollered.

“I don’t understand,” I muttered to myself. I scratched my head to discover that I was wearing a blonde wig. I was confused about why I was in jail

Once we were in the car, Jasir called for backup. As we raced towards Oak Mill Road, the area began to look familiar to me. I was able to direct them to the exact warehouse where I last saw Sabrina. Then I began to think, what if she’s not there? What if he stashed her somewhere new? But then it dawned on me that because he got away with it, he wouldn’t have switched up his plans. That’s what arrogant sociopathic narcs do. He probably felt so assured that no one would ever know his dark secret that he didn’t bother switching up his plan.

I learned that liquor made me disassociate but I was originally triggered by my husband’s cheating. Apparently, I followed him one day and discovered he was sleeping with Dr. Kara White.

“What happened to my mother?” I asked her, hoping she would at least tell the truth about that. “What do you mean?” “My father said she ran away because she was raped. Who raped her!?” I asked.

“Your mother was a fast assed little girl. Always smiling in some man’s face. She was too friendly. She ain’t get raped. She was sleeping around and got hooked on drugs. That’s why my Mama kicked her out.” “You’re lying. It was your husband, wasn’t it? Huh?!” I slammed my hands on the table causing her to jump but she didn’t reply. She sat there quietly to deny what I figured out. I knew that it was Charles that raped her because he said something to me once when he was molesting me. He said that I was just like my mother. It was another memory I had suppressed.

Thankfully, we also sold the movie rights as well. My story would be going to the big screen by next year and I couldn’t wait. Although the events that led to me writing the book were awful, I still managed to turn lemons into lemonade.

Now that all the secrets were out in the open, I was able to live my life the way I’ve always wanted to live it — free and joyous. With that freedom and joy, I can be the best mother to Harlem and she was flourishing because of it.

This was the life I was made for. I was going to shine bright and do my best with Harlem. It was one way I could honor my mother. She was so broken but through my efforts, I can help her soul rest in peace.