I grab the sticks, already knowing what they say, and then I drop to my knees. I am wrong. There is no child. No matter how many sticks I use, they keep saying the same thing. They keep telling me Ben is gone forever and that I am alone. I don’t move from the bathroom floor for hours. I don’t move until I feel it. I am bleeding. I know it’s a sign that my body is fully functioning, that I am physically fine. But it feels like a betrayal.
