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“That was all Yas, but yeah, it was great.” I nod to the stroller. “Is that Skyland’s newest heartbreaker you got there?” Both their faces light up and Brock turns the stroller to face me.
Red flag
I slip them on, my feet swallowed by the size thirteens. You know what they say about a man with big feet. Whew, chile, did Josiah live up to it.
LOL
“You need help, Daddy?” Kassim sounds surprised, and his brows shoot up. “Do you talk to a therapist?” Oh, this should be good. I don’t rescue him. I can’t. Josiah has been so adamant in the past that he doesn’t need a “shrink,” I’m not sure how to help. If I’m being honest, I don’t want to. “I’ve never talked to one, no,” Josiah says, meeting Kassim’s intent stare. “But I’ll do it if you will.”
Can do it for your wife but not your kid is crazy, red flag #2
I want to fuck her.
Your wife is sitting there GRIEVING and youre sexualizing her?? Red flag
“Fuck me, Si,” she gasps into my mouth, the words wreathed in mint and boldness.
Nvm it's mutual
“I was no walk in the park, Merry.” “Who wants to walk in the park? I think that man would run wild with you.”
Every part of me gasps at the feel of him. Not just my body, but my soul clicks with his again.
“Um…” Kassim looks panicked, like he’s taking a pop quiz and is afraid he might give the wrong answer. “Jordan?” I lean forward and fist-bump him, winking. “That’s my boy.” Kassim beams and sits up taller in his chair. It’s crazy how he flourishes under the slightest praise I give him. His confidence is so easily bolstered. I guess that’s what a father’s unconditional love and acceptance should do for a boy.
“Depression,” she goes on, “is a liar. If it will tell you no one loves you, that you’re not good enough, that you’re a burden or, in the most extreme cases, better off dead, then it can certainly convince you that you’re better off without the man you love, and that, ultimately, he’s better off without you.”
“They talked to a survivor and you know what he said?” She pauses, waiting for me to shake my head, breath bated. “As soon as he jumped, he changed his mind.” I blink at her owlishly. The weight of that sinking through my bones and flesh and digging into my heart. “That,” she says, “is an irreversible outcome. Divorce may or may not be. Broken relationships may or may not be. You may never repair those completely, but you’re still here to try. Do you recognize what an amazing gift that is? To still be here to try?”
Not that I lost this love, but that I believed in it so much, I ran back into the fire to save it. That when all hope was lost, I didn’t stop looking until I found it again. Didn’t stop looking until I found myself again. And this man, this moment—is my reward. Let’s stay together. Words of deep love, acceptance, renewal. It’s a pledge to stand as one when the world would divide us. When we would hurt each other. It’s fidelity and longing refined over a lifetime.
