I wonder how it looks on the inside, in the middle of all the blood. What else could I find? But that would mean I’d have to open her up for it, like all those postmortem patients, and the idea sends a queasy feeling to my stomach. If I do see inside her, I’ll lose her voice, her warmth, her temper, and even her irritating fight. Everything. I don’t want her dead. Fuck. I actually don’t want her dead and I’m ready to fight my demons so they’ll abandon the urge to see inside her.
