Controlled Chaos (Love & Lyrics #1)

by Nikki Ash

“He doesn’t deserve you.” Nobody does… but if she would ever give me a chance, I’d do everything in my power to be worthy of her love.

at some point in the past year, I fell in love with Layla. I’ve waited for the day I can finally tell her and hopefully make her mine.

“David,” Layla continues. “This is the guy I’ve been telling you about. Camden, my best friend.” And just like that, I’ve been friend-zoned. Just. Fucking. Great.

David is a possessive asshole—not that I can blame him since Layla is the entire package, and he’s worried she’ll leave him for someone else.

I wouldn’t fear she’d leave me because I’d treat her so good she wouldn’t want to be with anyone else.

When it loads, I find a picture of Layla and David with smiling faces, but that’s not what has my attention. Because also in the picture is her hand, with a diamond ring on her left finger. The caption reads: He asked, and I said yes! And just like that, my entire world is blown apart.

“What are you doing here?” “Well, hello to you too, Shutterbug.”

“No, you live in LA, and I thought you were on tour.” Please don’t say you’ve moved back. My marriage will never survive it. “Keeping tabs on me? That’s sweet.

“You got a tattoo of the song I wrote about you.”

So I’ll wait until she’s ready. Because I’m a patient guy.

“Nanna saw it,” I continue. “It peeked out of my top one night when I was picking up Felix from my mom’s. She loved it. Said she always knew you had feelings for me, and it was about time you admitted it.” I laugh softly, shaking my head. “When we spoke in the hospital, she mentioned you got divorced,” he admits. “We were supposed to come up with a plan of attack.” “For what?” “To break down your wall and get you to fall in love with me.” Holy shit… He’s not holding back at all.

“This is my second chance,” he says, shocking me. “I let you go once, but I can’t do it again without telling you how I feel. I’m in love with you.

“You don’t need to know anything right now except that I’ll be waiting for you to be ready, and once you are, I want my chance with you.”

“We get to know each other all over again,”

“I’m Camden Rocco Blackwood, lead singer of Raging Chaos. It’s nice to meet you.” I snort out a laugh at his introduction and accept his hand. “I’m Layla Isabella Kessler. Can I have your autograph?” I flip my hair playfully, making him laugh. “Oh, Shutterbug, you can have way more than that.” “Oh, yeah?” I play along. “Like what?” “Me,” he says, using my hand to tug me toward him. “You can have me.”

And if I couldn’t keep them satisfied and only wanting me, how the hell would I ever keep a man like Camden satisfied? He’s a rock star, for God’s sake. He has beautiful women throwing themselves at him every damn day. What do I possibly have to offer him that he can’t get from all those other women?”

“What if what’s outside is better than what’s inside?” I ask, tears filling my eyes and falling without my permission. “If you’re inside, that’s impossible.” “David didn’t think so,” I murmur.

“If I had you, I know I’d never look outside. Them fucking blinds would stay closed.” He smirks, and I find myself laughing. “You’re beautiful and smart and sexy as fuck, and if I’m ever lucky enough to get you inside my four walls, I will prove to you every damn day that you’re all I see… all I want. That there’s nothing worth looking outside for.

“Just the two of us… if that’s okay with you. I thought it could be a good way to get things back to a starting point with us. See if the adult us still connects like the teenage us used to.”

“Yeah, that’s okay with me.” She slides a bit closer. “Things have been crazy since I returned to New York. Between the move, the divorce, and finding out that after all this time, you wanted more, and I had no idea, I think spending some alone time together is a good idea.”

“I’m going to woo the hell out of you, Layles.”

“Oh, Camden, your wooing game is seriously on point.”

“Go easy on our boy, yeah? He’s been waiting for you for a long-ass time.”

“This isn’t a one-time thing or just two friends reconnecting. I want you in every way that matters. I want all of your days and your nights. Your happiness and your sadness. I want your tears and your laughter. I want your body…and your heart.”

“I’m going to clean you, every part of you, so I can dirty you up all over again.”

“In their own time, they’ll come around. They’ll find someone real, like you, and it will be a game changer, just like you are for me, but right now, the fake is what’s getting them through each day. Not having to think too hard, not having to feel. The fake is how those who can’t have the real survive.”