A Mage's Guide to Aussie Terrors (R'iyah Family Archives #2)

by A.J. Sherwood

“It’s not the size of the dick, it’s how much of a dick he is.

“Whose bright idea was this, again?” “Yours.” “Dammit, I was afraid of that.”

They needed all phones charged as much as possible before they left. And sanity. Sadly, he didn’t know how to charge sanity. Someone somewhere should get on that.

Garen had cute-aggression sometimes with Bel, where he just wanted to squeeze the breath out of him.

Here, I brought you—oh, you have coffee already.” Bel held up his cup. “This cup is to motivate me enough to get me out of bed. Yours is to ensure I am a functioning member of society.”

“The lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bitch,”

“Oooh, that must be salt in an open wound for Spencer. That sparks joy.”

Nico ignored the banter as Garen had caught his eye. After so many years, Nico had learned how to read him well. Garen silently conveyed to him his agitation, the concern he had for Bel. Nico shared this utterly. With a jerk of the chin, he indicated Douchebag and gave a hopeful tilt of the head toward the railing. It’d be easy to disappear him. Problem eaten and gone, yeah? Garen gave a slight shake of the head. No. Dammit, don’t be a spoilsport. It’s just a little murder. Garen gave him another shake of the head. No. Then he tilted down to press a kiss on top of Bel’s head. Yeah, granted, Bel wouldn’t take it well. Initially. But Nico was sure he’d agree eventually that Spencer would do the world a favor when he stopped breathing. Really, he’d be more use as crocodile food than walking around taking up valuable oxygen. Garen indicated Bel again with a meaningful uplift of the brows. Yeah, agreed, they’d need the full story from Bel. Nico would insist on that, at least. Bel growled out something before turning, extending a hand to Nico. “Will you just come here and stop having this elaborate conversation over my head?” Pointing a finger at himself, Nico silently protested his innocence. He’d never. “Oh, stop. Like I’m oblivious to that silent conversation you and Garen were having.” “Bel Bel. Confess.” Nico came to him, taking his hand but still giving him a Scroogey look. “You really can see through the back of your head, can’t you?”

“Oooh, flamethrower,” Nico crooned with an expression of homicide on his face. Wicky eyed him sideways as he put the man’s shot on the table. “Out of context, that was terrifying.”

“I’m sure I can orchestrate an accidental flamethrower incident where Spencer gets it right in the face.”

Wicky tried to put himself in their shoes for a moment. If he’d learned that someone he loved more than anything had been in a toxic, abusive relationship while still young, a relationship bad enough to give them PTSD, how would he react? Especially when that person showed up in their life with the intent to do harm again? Wow, yeah, looked like murder was the only answer.

For Bel, love was the person who made the world stop and listen.

“Don’t piss me off! I will sing musicals at you.”

Spencer really was going to be in for it when he died. Bel tried to feel pity for him. Pity? Pity? Yoo-hoo? Damn, he had a runner.