Walking Through Clear Water in a Pool Painted Black: Collected Stories

by Cookie Mueller

“Why does everybody think I'm so wild. I'm not wild. I happen to stumble onto wildness. It gets in my path.”

“It is important that you recognize that there is no experience that comes into your life that is below your dignity.”

When I got home I hung up my pink sequined G-string, and there it hangs to this day, gathering dust. It still sparkles just a little when the sun hits it.

How embarrassing, I thought, a chic underground film star climbing a fence out of a pit in Berlin. How could I live this one down?

I planned what I was going to do with the money. The first thing would be to move into a better home. Then I'd buy an airplane ticket to some beach. I would rest. If a vacation didn't work to relax me, I'd use the credit cards to have a lobotomy. Then I would be stupid and blissful instead of stupid and stressed-out.

There is an old saying in Italian: “See Naples and die.” I didn't know exactly what it meant, but it sounded good.

Being a human being isn't easy, what with all these insatiable physical, emotional, and intellectual desires. If the ultimate goal in life is to be happy, then you have to admit that one-celled creatures have it all over us. Little germs are probably always happy. They are superior, they don't sing the blues. Think about that the next time you bring out the disinfectant bottle and start scrubbing them away. Look at Howard Hughes again. He must have known that the happiness of germs was something terrifyingly enviable. He must have been jealous.