Unraveling the Threads of Fate

by Alice Winters

“You are the strangest thing I’ve ever made in my life, and I’ve made some weird shit. One time in high school, I tried rolling a joint with a condom wrapper. And you’re still weirder than that joint.” “Is that why you knocked Mom up? You used your condoms for weed instead?” “One hundred percent.”

“I’m not going to urgent care and telling them my dick is on fire because you bought soap made of money and unicorn hair.” “Oh my god, they see weird stuff all the time. People are always like stuffing shit up their ass or in their nose or something, it’s fine.”