Unraveling the Threads of Fate

by Alice Winters

“Did you get the soap and lube from the same place?” I ask as I grab the bottle only to find it looks similar. “I did. They were really expensive… And I’m now wondering if the ingredients you’re allergic to… are in both. I’m so sorry…” “Was it money?” I ask with a gasp. “Oh. My. God. STOP. I’m not abusing you with money!” I’m trying not to laugh as I wave to my body. “I’m turning into a freaking strawberry!” He looks extremely apologetic. “You’re really cute still?” My eyes couldn’t possibly get wider. “Different soap maybe?” “Or maybe we need to get you to urgent care,” he says. “I’m not going to urgent care and telling them my dick is on fire because you bought soap made of money and unicorn hair.” “Oh my god, they see weird stuff all the time. People are always like stuffing shit up their ass or in their nose or something, it’s fine.” “Are they?” I ask. “I don’t know. It sounded like a valid statement.” “Did it?” He squirts some other stuff on me but now I just feel like a burning, itching ball of misery. “You scrub, I’ll go get you some clothes.” “I’m not going!” “You’re going!” “I refuse!” “Allergies are super serious, Alex. The Benadryl is clearly not cutting it.” “I’ve handled worse. No fucking allergy is going to take me down,” I declare.