You Only Live Once

by Maxine Morrey

Even when your life had been shattered, nature’s cycle continued and, at a time I found it hard to discern comfort in anything, I did find some sort of comfort in that.

But other people were beyond my scope of vision at that point. All I knew was an unending see-saw of utter numbness tipping into pain so deep and so violent I longed for the numbness again.

Other people may have our best interests at heart but, in the end, these important decisions have to be our own and we know what feels right.

‘I think we all get caught up like that from time to time until we find out that what we actually need is the opposite of what we’re doing.’

I didn’t want to feel love, only that I couldn’t bear the loss of it ever again. In my heart, I knew this solitude wasn’t an ideal solution, but it was the only way I could see for getting through it at the time and over the years it had just become a habit.