healing for no one but me

by Jennae Cecelia

i am trying to do more tangible things. make with my hands. create with color. dust a book off my shelves. i want to feel more alive here and less like i am just simply existing in worlds that are not even mine. it is easy to get stuck in a pit, but when i finally look up i feel guilty for having nothing to show for it.

there is only so much healing i can do in this space

do you ever have those days where you feel like you are a stranger in your own skin?

and oh what a beautiful story you have turned this pain into.

i keep telling myself one day i will be that woman i have always envisioned being. the one who does not have a worry about who she is or where she is going.

i fell in love with you because home took the place of alone and i did not feel scared to let you in.

they say your rainbow will come and things will be ok, but you still cannot help but wonder what would have come before the rain.