healing for no one but me

by Jennae Cecelia

it is ok to be in the dark. in the unknown. in the messy in-between. there is so much good that comes from working on yourself in a place that lacks full clarity.

healing deep wounds is not a matter of time and forgetfulness. it is accepting that those wounds have shaped the story you now carry. and oh what a beautiful story you have turned this pain into.

i am in the wildflower fields searching for peace in the petals and strength in the wind. i know it is coming for me. i know i deserve it.

i am not the same person i was last year or the year before. and while that might seem scary because people stop recognizing me for who i once was. i remember that who i am changing into now is someone i always dreamed of.

what does not make sense now ​will be screaming with certainty ​in the future.

if you knew me before five years ago and not anymore, you do not really know the me now. you have met me. you have interacted with me. but only a me that is just a ghost to the me today. who you think you know is so far away.

i am ok with the fact that the girl from my past brought me pain and ache. i am not mad at her. i am grateful she carried me here. there is nothing i would change. the story we wrote together is one i will never try to hide or erase off the page.