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February 13 - February 17, 2023
Potatoes are by far the most versatile crop. You could fry them up, bake them, or throw them at undesirable men who refuse to leave you alone.
“Jack, have you lost your mind? Did you come here so I could help you find it? I can’t think of any other reason me pelting you with root vegetables would be mistaken for flirting.”
With the force of every woman tired of broke men’s audacity, I yeeted the drink straight at Jack’s head.
“Love potion or not, you can’t fake a hunger like this. If it weren’t for this crowd, I’d show you just how much I already burn for you. You’re mine, Brie.”
“Please don’t run from me, Brie.” He panted. “It’s getting me a little too excited.”
“Should I growl in your ear that you’re mine and toss you over my shoulder? I admit it’s not my style, but for you, Lamb? Anything.”
This man was a menace to my heart.
“A sweet little lamb protecting the virtue of the wolf trying to eat her up.
“I’ve fought an army of manticores, and the dark magic of a lich. Both tasks pale in comparison to resisting the urge to shred that gown off you and shoving my tongue down your cunt.”
“And if none of these removal spells work…then we’re going to have to have sex.” Phaaos God of Love, Lust, and Hunt, I will place a kill at your altar every week until my dying breath.
“As am I. Lamb, if you think I’m letting you go after this, you must not have paid close attention to all those werewolf romances lining your shelves. We’re a persistent lot.”
“What can I say? I’m sustained by the souls of the damned.”
“I want to hang my coat next to your door and place my boots at your entryway, so anyone who comes to see you know that there’s a man in your life. I want to place my clothes in your dresser so our scents mix together.”
“I want a great many things and I honestly just don’t know how to be patient about it.”
“Is this whole cult just a cop out for men who can’t talk to women?”
