The only rational response, I thought, was to kill myself, but the aesthetic of the whole thing struck me as pathetic. Despite thinking all was vanity, I was still quite vain, and leaping from my dorm window just didn’t feel like my style. Instead, that afternoon represented a turning point in my addiction. An avid user from the start, I now was truly committed. My behavior became reckless and spiraled quickly toward a life that matched my ideas of existence in terms of heartless insanity.
