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Being around Violet brings out some primal, barbaric side of me. I want her, but since I can’t have her, I end up acting like a giant asshole.
“Fine.” She lifts her chin defiantly. Her first words make me suck in a breath. “I lost my virginity to a jerk who pretended to be super into me.” I swallow the acid burning my throat. “A week later I found him in bed with my roommate.” Every word is a physical blow. “And finally, the same jerk crashed my weekend camping trip with friends while continuing to hook up with every girl that crosses his path.”
I want to tell her that they’re all lies, or at least not the complete truth. I was super into her. I don’t even remember getting in that bed with her roommate, and I didn’t hook up with those girls today, but I know it won’t matter.
Not because I think he’s doing anything wrong by hooking up with whomever he wants, but because it annoys me just a teensy tiny bit how easily he seems to go from one girl to the next. It reminds me of how quickly he moved on from me, and that is a wound that hasn’t quite healed.
I’m at a loss for words. Of course, I’m fucking sorry. I’ve regretted it every day since.
“I never meant to hurt you, Violet. You were amazing. We had so much fun together. I don’t even remember leaving with Bailey that night.” At the mention of her old roommate, she stiffens. “You know what? You can keep your apology. I don’t want it, I don’t need it, and I do not accept it.”
My brain might know this is temporary, but my heart is punching to get out of my chest. It’s belonged to her since the first time I met her.
“Contrary to what you think, Vi, I care about you. If I thought you needed something, I’d do a lot more than kick down a door to get to you.”
“Can I come back tomorrow? We can watch six hours of Darcy and Elizabeth, if you want, or I’ll read some more Persuasion. I want to spend more time with you.”
And after a year of wishing for a second chance, I finally have a date with Violet.
“It took a couple of minutes for it to register, or I would have immediately agreed.” He holds the door open for me, and something in his playful smile and dark brown eyes holds me captive as he says, “I always hear you, Violet.”
Violet is a freaking ten any day of the week, but tonight, in that blue dress with her hair wavy and those shoes… damn those shoes, she steals the air from my lungs.
“Congrats on being top jock.” “Top Jock? Is that like king of the dipshits?” “You said it.”
“I thought you transferred. I haven’t seen you in, in like, forever.” “Forever wouldn’t be long enough,” I think I hear Vi mutter. Bailey is oblivious to any weirdness between them as she turns her head to share a laugh with Sariah. “This is my old roommate from freshman year.” “Oh, right.” Sariah nods and looks Violet over. Bailey continues to smile. “This is just like old times. You, me, Gavin.” I can feel Violet’s rage, but she stays quiet. “We should hang sometime and catch up.” Bailey pulls out her phone. “Air drop me your number.” I brace myself for the verbal lashing that I’m sure is
...more
oh awkward
“This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have come.” “Fuck them.” “You already did,” she snaps. The fight in her dies a little as the people around us look our way. An embarrassed flush tints her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t prepared to run into them. What can I do? Do you want to go somewhere else?” “I should have known they’d be here.” She won’t meet my gaze as she speaks. “This is not my scene anymore. I don’t belong here. I’ll see you later.”
“Definitely not.” In fact, I’ve avoided her. Bailey is an awful reminder of what I’m capable of. “I run into her occasionally at parties, but nothing has ever happened between us.” I lower my voice. “Nothing else.” “Right.” She brings the can up to her mouth and takes a small drink. “And I didn’t know she was friends with Sariah.” “You don’t know the friends of the girl you’ve been hooking up with?” “It wasn’t anything serious.” “Neither were we.” She shakes her head. “I can’t figure you out.”
“I want to know which version of you is the real one. Are you the asshole who slept with my roommate and then continues to hook up with random girls, without getting to know them, or the sweet guy who carried me ten blocks when my sandal broke and stayed up all night, wanting to know every detail of my life? I can’t reconcile the different versions. Are you the worst mistake I ever made or…” Her lip quivers. “I think I’m a little bit of both guys.” I swallow around a lump the size of my many mistakes. “So where does that leave us?”
“You really hurt her. I know she plays it off like nothing gets to her, but deep down, Vi is sensitive and idealistic. She deserves someone who won’t trample on her romantic heart.”
Words don’t feel like enough, since it’s my actions that have made me untrustworthy, so I nod.
“Do you want to be exclusive? Like, not date other people. I’m not, for the record. Dating other people that is.” Heat creeps up my neck.
Aww
“The choice is yours, son, but make sure you’re choosing from your heart. Chances like this don’t come around a second time. The worst thing in life is to sit around asking yourself what if.”
“I don’t want you here. Why can’t you get that through your head? You don’t get to play the father card when it’s convenient for you. You are a shitty fucking dad. You were absent most of my childhood. Too busy sleeping your way through the ball honeys while Mom picked up your slack. We were fine without you. We didn’t need you then, and I don’t need you now.”
“My dad cheated on my mom for basically their entire marriage. It fucks with you, you know? It’s hard not to look back at all the things he missed and wonder if he really couldn’t make it or if he was choosing other people over his family. I want to get married someday and have kids, but not if I’m going to end up like him.”
Let’s play a game.” “A game? Now?” “Mhmm. Two truths and a lie.” “Okay.” I give him a tentative smile. “Number one, I have the hottest girlfriend alive.” “Two, I can’t imagine my life without you.” “And three?” I ask. “I have been in love with you since the night your sandal broke, and I carried you to your dorm.” My heart threatens to burst in my chest. “Which one is the lie?” “None of them.” He grins. “They’re all true.”
