Hating the Player (Campus Wallflowers #2)

by Rebecca Jenshak

“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.” - Jane Austen

I start to roll over only to realize several things at once. Number one, I’m trapped by a heavy arm tossed over my middle and there’s no longer three feet of distance between me and Gavin. Number two, he’s hard or has a flashlight in his sweats, and three, did I mention he’s hard?!

Being around Violet brings out some primal, barbaric side of me. I want her, but since I can’t have her, I end up acting like a giant asshole.

I knew Violet was going to be here. She’s most of the reason I canceled my date and tagged along with Jenkins and Taylor. I thought maybe it would be an opportunity for us to hang out and bury the hatchet, so to speak.

She lifts her chin defiantly. Her first words make me suck in a breath. “I lost my virginity to a jerk who pretended to be super into me.” I swallow the acid burning my throat. “A week later I found him in bed with my roommate.” Every word is a physical blow. “And finally, the same jerk crashed my weekend camping trip with friends while continuing to hook up with every girl that crosses his path.”

Her mouth moves like she’s singing along with music. Her black hair falls past her shoulders and she’s wearing a tank top and short shorts. Violet’s stunning always, but the glimpses of her like this are my favorite.

Like I haven’t been trying to get Violet to stop hating me for the past year.

“Yes, maybe, but he did it. He still likes you.”

Penelope sings a lot about heartache, unrequited love, breakups, and standing on your own. She captures teenage angst like none other.

“I never meant to hurt you, Violet. You were amazing. We had so much fun together. I don’t even remember leaving with Bailey that night.” At the mention of her old roommate, she stiffens. “You know what? You can keep your apology. I don’t want it, I don’t need it, and I do not accept it.”

My brain might know this is temporary, but my heart is punching to get out of my chest. It’s belonged to her since the first time I met her.

“Contrary to what you think, Vi, I care about you. If I thought you needed something, I’d do a lot more than kick down a door to get to you.”

Why does this truce suddenly feel like the worst idea ever?

“I like you, Violet. I’ve always liked you.”

“Can I come back tomorrow? We can watch six hours of Darcy and Elizabeth, if you want, or I’ll read some more Persuasion. I want to spend more time with you.”

Somehow this feels like the end all over again.

“She doesn’t hate me.” “Well, she doesn’t like you,”

Number two, I want that. And I can only picture it with one person.

And after a year of wishing for a second chance, I finally have a date with Violet.

“It took a couple of minutes for it to register, or I would have immediately agreed.” He holds the door open for me, and something in his playful smile and dark brown eyes holds me captive as he says, “I always hear you, Violet.”

Violet is a freaking ten any day of the week, but tonight, in that blue dress with her hair wavy and those shoes… damn those shoes, she steals the air from my lungs.

“What do you want?” She looks up at me through dark lashes. Instead of answering, I lean down and brush my lips over hers. For the briefest of moments, she kisses me back. Hope and adrenaline surge through me and then crash when she steps back and brings a hand to her mouth.

“No, Gavin. I don’t think you and I can ever be friends.”

“I know you. You like him. There’s no going slow with you two. You look at each other and practically combust. Plus, he’s a good kisser and looks good sweaty.”

We’re in this weird limbo, somewhere between friends and more, and as much as I would like to leap over that line straight to MORE, I can tell she is not ready for that.

“Fuck them.” “You already did,”

“I want to know which version of you is the real one.

The only time we seem to make any sense is when we’re fighting or kissing.

That felt so much better than any fight.

“That’s some real romantic shit, Leonard.”

but the unsettling feeling only lasts for a second because at the very top is one from the girl next door.

“You were right about the dress. It gives me a feeling too.”

“Plenty of time for that, baby.”

Gavin like this is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.

“There were a lot of small indicators as I was growing up, I guess. I liked clothes but hated if someone had the same outfit as me. That led to me customizing my own stuff. My mom used to get so mad. I’d draw designs on my jeans and cut my shirts. Eventually, she got me a sewing machine and let me enroll in some local classes.”

She’s so me coded

“Mine. That’s what I wrote.”

“You’re dodging.” He rebounds my ball. “I’m not dodging. She’s mine.” “She said that?” “Not with words.”

“Because, dickhead, you’re in love with her and I’d never do that to a buddy.” He tosses me the ball a little harder than necessary. “And I’m pretty sure she’s in love with you too.”

All day I’ve thought about him, counted the minutes until I might get to see him.

“You pierce my soul, Violet Johnson.”

I slant my mouth over hers and, as she’d put it, kiss the crap out of her.

“I forgot how big you are,” Violet says, voice trembling. “I love it when you whisper sweet nothings.” She laughs. “That was sweet?” “Straight out of Jane Austen. I’m thinking of hanging it above my bed.” I grin down at her. “I don’t think so.”

“Wait, did you just say you were in love with me?” He cocks his head to the side. “Past or present tense?” “Past and present tense.”