“Even if he had, that wouldn’t crack the top ten of weird shit I’ve seen. I’ve matched with a professional juggler, a guy who directs furry porn videos, a dude whose claim to fame was supposedly inventing the phrase ‘dad bod.’ I’ve gone out with an art forger, a plumber obsessed with pulling off a bank heist, and—oh, let’s not forget the one who wanted me to get in an ice bath for an hour and then lie perfectly still while we had sex so he could pretend he was fucking a dead body.”
