“I love you,” I whisper to him, barely able to speak. My throat feels like it’s closing up, choking on tears. “I should have told you that I loved you, but I didn’t know. I didn’t want to know. I was so afraid. Afraid what loving you would mean. I shouldn’t have been afraid, Tuoni. I don’t want to be afraid anymore. Fear is…” I close my eyes, trying to breathe through the pain, “Fear is the real death. It’s what keeps us from living. I should have been fully alive with you.”
