Exalted

by Anna Dorn

I would have told Tara she has halitosis and her labia looks like something from a horror movie.

“Borderline what? Borderline fabulous?”

If I had gone to high school with her, I would have bullied her.

☠️☠️☠️

Everyone just wants to hear they’re special in very specific language, and astrology is a perfectly nebulous vehicle for this.

We use the sun to tell time and the moon controls the tides, so it’s not outrageous to think the planets would impact who we are.

I both revere astrology as among the oldest belief systems in the world, a cosmic tool kit to realize our best selves, and find it a trendy new age crutch, a way to justify bad behavior. Sorry, I was rude … such a Virgo moment! No, Allison, you’re just a cunt.