You'll Come Back to Yourself

by Michaela Angemeer

i always cave first it’s like the hollows inside of me are asking you to stay

the worst thing about loving you wasn’t you leaving it was hoping you’d come back

i thought i would have a lifetime to be in love with you it ended in a second

if you fall in love with someone’s potential you will break your own heart

but the great loves are not the only ones that help you grow. the little loves teach us how to love without expectation. the little loves teach us how to live a life filled with the love we deserve.

the moon tells me it’s time i don’t think i’ll ever be able to walk on land again

i can’t explain where all my love for you came from it’s as if we once raised a child baby fingers gripping pinkies or died together on a bed of dandelions it’s as if i were the moon and you were the sun always convincing each other the next day was worth rising for and when i was too caught up in being the ocean you never forgot to remind me what your earth felt like i don’t know if we’ll finally collide in this century but i am certain i have loved you in more than a thousand different lifetimes

how many times in the average day do you think of me while you’re with her and brush the thought away

how many times will i let myself be a second choice before i learn that there are no runner-ups in love

a hand-me-down sweater i never know when i’ll have to give you back and you cannot be mine if you belong to someone else

why did he look at me like that why do you look at me like that why do i keep falling in love with people who are meant for someone else

you can make someone love you but you can’t make them choose you

it’s too bad gravity took hold of us because your heart is the only place that has ever felt like home

i’ve always been cyclical good at returning to the start bad at forgetting these spirals won’t spin themselves i am so used to the coming and going the leaving goodbye feels like the only thing i can rely on but you you have refused to be part of my cycles there you are standing still reliability looks so good on you but you you are a pillar meant to hold up someone else and i can barely stand it maybe it is time to get up maybe it is time to move on maybe this time goodbye is meant for me

my favourite women are travellers nomads holding keys between their teeth no baggage ask them where they’re going they’ll say where the wind takes me ask them when they’re coming back they’ll smile and you’ll realize that they never really leave

when the future feels far off and you can’t see through the fog don’t forget to look for right now, right in front of you

i don’t need a love that sweeps me off my feet i need a love that tends to my roots

when your feet are heavier than the concrete poured into sidewalks and your pockets are filled with breadcrumbs each step forward feels like you are creating a destination out of anthills formed on gaps and dandelions breaking dirt you are forging a path perhaps without end but all you can do is put one foot forward drop the breadcrumbs behind you you’ll find that the right person picks them up no questions as to why you’re leaving them when they find your path and finally find you they’ll see light feet and brightness you are dancing in the fountain look at how you shine but today they still have breadcrumbs to collect and you have a few more heavy steps to walk but tomorrow, tomorrow you’ll find someone new and someone new will find you