You'll Come Back to Yourself

by Michaela Angemeer

i always cave first it’s like the hollows inside of me are asking you to stay

don’t plant seeds of commitment in my mind if you never intend to water them

the worst thing about loving you wasn’t you leaving it was hoping you’d come back

when he says that he’s scared of hurting you it’s not empathy, it’s a warning

i don’t want to get out of the water i have grown accustomed to being consumed by you and even though the moon tells me it’s time i don’t think i’ll ever be able to walk on land again

i don’t care how we got here i just want to scream from rooftops with you i can’t explain where all my love for you came from it’s as if we once raised a child baby fingers gripping pinkies or died together on a bed of dandelions it’s as if i were the moon and you were the sun always convincing each other the next day was worth rising for and when i was too caught up in being the ocean you never forgot to remind me what your earth felt like i don’t know if we’ll finally collide in this century but i am certain i have loved you in more than a thousand different lifetimes

i just want to watch space jam with you talk about how young michael jordan is what is he even doing now and how do the aliens get so big i barely remember the plot of this but something about 90s movies makes me want to be with you

there’s something about banter the quick back and forth of a witty exchange synchronicity at it’s best you can feel the tension building up inside you because girl, words have always affected you in ways hands can’t but the problem with banter when it’s typed is it’s said with no inflection left to interpretation by two people who have a map but don’t know where they’re going when you decide to place your black mirrors face down and face each other it can be hard for your tongues to speak the same language of quick wit which your ingers have memorized

feelings are not facts therapy lessons part 2

not everyone deserves to hold your heart in their hands

you can make someone love you but you can’t make them choose you

you deserve a call me anytime love. a pick you up from the airport love. a love note on napkins kind of love. a chicken noodle soup for sore throats kind of love. a back rub before bed kind of love. a laughs at your bad jokes kind of love. a reminder to get up ten minutes earlier because it snowed and you’re going to have to clean off your car kind of love. a clean off your car for you kind of love. a bring you cheesecake when you have cramps kind of love. a listening love. a love that takes care of you. a love that sees your messy hair, your morning breath, your spiralling mind, your no sleep crankiness, a love that loves you more because of it. you deserve a requited love. a love that lasts.

i don’t need a love that sweeps me off my feet i need a love that tends to my roots