The Haar

by David Sodergren

Muriel Margaret McAuley was eighty-four years old the first time she saw a man turned inside-out by a sea monster. You might think it would bother a woman of her age, but, as Muriel was fond of saying, she had seen a lot in her eighty-four short years.

Fantastic opening!

In fact, the only thing Muriel couldn’t abide — that really, truly nauseated her — were stuck-up wee arseholes in suits telling her what to do.

“I don’t care if he shits gold bullions,” said Muriel, her cheeks colouring at her choice of language.