What Lies in the Woods

by Kate Alice Marshall

of hearing that three girls had gone into the woods and only two had emerged, knowing right away that it was their girls, because it was a small town and because they knew the way the wilderness called to us,

We tried to forget. We didn’t tell the story. Not the real one. Not ever.

“You’ve never really processed what happened to you. You shy away from it in your work. You need to confront it head-on.

But why should she be able to leave the woods, when I never had?

We knew the world was cruel and dirty and dull, and it was all so brutally unfair that we refused to accept it. There was magic in the world. We only had to find it.

“All I can do is be a good mom now. Take care of my own, you know? Nothing good comes from digging up old trouble.”

“Bad things happened to you. It doesn’t mean you deserved them. You have earned the right to protect yourself. You don’t owe the world anything. It owes you.”

“There were massive gaps in your memory. Still are, I’m guessing.” “Trauma does that,”

“She was complicated.” “The best people always are,”

“Don’t turn a tragedy into a conspiracy,

“How are you holding up?” he asked. “I hate that question slightly less than I hate being asked if I’m okay,”

“You were a good friend to her. But she’s gone. You take care of yourself first. The dead don’t need our help.”

Sometimes it seemed like the only thing I’d ever been good at was surviving being broken. I didn’t know how to be whole. So any time I felt like I was healing, I found a way to break myself again.

deeeppp

Until I had run out of ways to break myself apart.

Sometimes, surrender was the kindest thing of all.

Danger and pain had felt easier than safety.

pain balanced by pain.

“That’s the thing about trust, isn’t it?” Ethan said. “You gather all the evidence you can, use your brain, weigh character and past actions. But the final inch of it—that’s faith. Trust means believing in someone. It’s not just a conclusion. It’s a choice.”