Which, let’s face it, meant paying an exorbitant amount of money to be told that the problem was that I was fat and if I just dieted and exercised more, I wouldn’t be seeing strange things in the backyard. Half the doctors on earth wouldn’t even bother looking at my chart, they’d just see a fat person and conclude that any and all medical maladies were my own fault for being lazy and overeating. Never mind that I could probably out-hike most of them and my blood pressure is exquisite. I could hop into an ER carrying my severed leg and squirting blood
