Boundaries are not what we tell kids not to do; boundaries are what we tell kids we will do. Boundaries embody your authority as a parent and don’t require your child to do anything. In the case of Reina and Kai, a productive intervention might have looked like their mother stepping between them, moving the figures from Reina’s reach, and saying, “I won’t let you throw these toys.” Or maybe, if she didn’t want to upset the thoughtfully laid-out figures in the playroom, she would pick Reina up and go sit with her in another room. These are boundaries. Saying, “Stop throwing right now!”—though a
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