Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

by Becky Kennedy

Mantras I love mantras. They take moments or emotions that feel big and overwhelming—like episodes of frustration—and give us something small and manageable to focus on. As a result, they can be very grounding for kids. But rather than coming in heavy-handed with a mantra your child should say to themself, try framing it as something you learned that you just happen to be passing along. This might sound like: “You know, when I was six, I used to get sooooo frustrated when things felt hard! Oh my goodness, it felt so bad! And I still remember something my dad—yes! Grandpa Harry!—told me. He said that when he gets frustrated, he places his hand on his heart, takes a breath, and tells himself, ‘This feels hard because it is hard, not because I’m doing something wrong.’ And so, I started saying that to myself! If you want to try that too, that could be cool . . . it seems kinda silly, but it really helps. Here, I’ll show you . . .” For younger kids, a mantra might be “I can do it” or “I like to be challenged” or “I can do hard things” or “This is tricky and I can stay with it.”